#Resistance Hyatus

I have not abandoned my labor of love, Wisdom From the Galaxy, but I have been sidetracked by the shockwave that entered the world in November. My participation in the Resistance has occupied my time as a would a full-time job. The resistance takes first and full priority, though I am trying to create and balance. One way to achieve this balance I am continuing my Wisdom From the Galaxy stories, portraying the mystery of the high desert and the cathartic effect of my companion rabbit Galaxy…..Resist, Persist, take comfort in entertainment and recreational reading.

Photo collage depicting the power of companion animals and the universe

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Affirmations From the Galaxy: Freedom

Freedom is always comes at a price, the return comes after the pain when I retrieve my soul….C.C. Silsbee

As much as I love you, I must act on the love I have for myself and let you go………C.C. SilsbeePhoto collage depicting the loss of love and heartbreak

I ran through the desert night, further and further from the pain ……I ran and I ran desperate for water…..worn out, I ran and I ran further and further…..I ran until I reached an oasis….I ran through the oasis and I found me……I looked to the Galaxy and found my way home…..C.C. Silsbee

More Affirmations From the Galaxy

Wisdom From the Galaxy

Cougar In the Hunt Vlog

Temperance & The Devil

#affirmations #animalwisdom #relationships #friends #forgiveness #hope #heartbreak #grief

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Heart Break Winter Vlog and How Galaxy & I Met The Joey

Winter brought a freeze to the shards of my heart with each piece frozen in time. Darkness dominated the evening hours while overflowing tears created a constant stream traveling down my face throughout the nights. …….Continue

Galaxy & The Joey Part 1: Heart Break Winters

Galaxy & The Joey Part 2: Thanks-Give-Me-Joey coming soon!

Wisdom From The Galaxy

The Joey, The Galaxy, & Me: Acquiesce

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Galaxy & The Joey Part 1: Heart Break Winter

Winter brought a freeze to the shards of my heart with each piece frozen in time. Darkness dominated the evening hours while overflowing tears created a constant stream traveling down my face throughout the nights.

Photo collage depicting the loss of love and heartbreakAny traces of Mr. Wonderful fell to the desert winds, none of us knowing what direction. His disappearance left no clues and his welfare was still a complete unknown. I was facing many questions, with few answers, and no communication. Given the ambiguous circumstances, of his sudden absence, the only option available to me was relinquishing loyalty to Mr. Wonderful as there was no sign of him returning to Joshua Tree.

Galaxy had been my most sacred comfort and each day his beauty and joyous disposition was my salvation. At the same time, I knew in my heart how much Galaxy missed Mr. Wonderful, though Galaxy was much more able to live in the moment.photo collage depicting the pain and wisdom from heartbreak, relationships, mental illness, animal wisdom, heartbreak, woman over 40

A pivotal question kept crashing through my mind while lingering in constant conflict with my heart. How do I grieve with no specific about what I have lost? At this point, his absence and lack of contact indicated an indefinite end to our relationship. I reached inside myself searching the depths of my heart and soul for answers, but all I found was wide canyons and crude fissures of regrets and terrors.

One reality was certain, in each passing moment the man I loved was far out of my reach to an extent that was incomprehensible.

What I did have full knowledge of was the fact that he was not physically present, not within my reach, and not making contact with any of us. I was aware, of the folks fully present who would prove to be my strength. To survive the gaping hole left in my chest, I would have to embrace what and whom existed in my physical proximity. The Wisdom of the Infinite Galaxy was on its way carrying gifts.

Thanksgiving was soon to arrive while my car was malfunctioning beyond my financial means thus forcing me into an isolation turning my heartache into a deep cut stinging in the biting cold. Without my vehicle, I could not see my family and asking them to come and get me would need to be saved for Christmas.

affirmation, forgiveness, child abuse, substance abuse, deception, heartbreak, mental illness
There was more to be discovered about Mr. Wonderful sending shock waves into my entire sense of wellness….

At this point I was unaware that relief was on its way, bending my path sideways with ironic roots tracing back to Mr. Treeman dysfunction and Mr. Wonderful’s sudden disappearance. Finesse acquired the driving privilege of Mr. Treeman’s car to help care for his place since she considered it her responsibility since she had set up the arrangement for Mr. Wonderful which ended up falling apart. In a mere moment, this mutually beneficial agreement fell ruptured in the middle of our holiday rituals. Genie, a member of our tribe who I did not know as well as Finesse, invited an intimate few to her house for Thanksgiving, which was a small but distinct print in the desert sand on my long road to salvation. What seemed like lost wandering circles of events and subsequent emotions was actually a secure path forward, making a full circle back to me. mess.

Finesse, her boyfriend Peter Pan, Galaxy and I had been invited to Genie’s home for a Thanksgiving gathering. Since Finesse managed to commandeer Mr. Wonderful’s transportation, while my car was malfunctioning, she offered to give me and Galaxy a ride, so we could take part in Genie’s holiday meal.

The plot twists that would occur before we arrived at the Genie’s house, would set off a turn of events, reminding me that although my heart was in shattered ruins, it was still indeed beating.

Finesse needed to stop at the grocery store before going to Genie’s place. I was riding in my familiar passenger’s seat that I had shared with Mr. Wonderful, so I was able to notice a distinct problem. The vehicle alignment was rickety. Finesse examined the area around the tires as we got out of the car. The tread of the tire was completely worn, and the balding was so bad that wire was exposed. The sounds I heard as Finesse drove and applied the brakes was indicative of rotor and CV boot problems accelerating wear on the tire. Finesse wondered if the car would make it to Genie’s place and since it was so close we decided to join the gathering and figure out a solution before the end of the evening.

Despite this setback, It was a beautiful celebration, and I began to rediscover once again the spirited quality of our Joshua Tree connections, the same of which led me to Mr. Wonderful. I missed him so much and at the same time I wanted desperately to be fully present in these precious moments gifted to me that involved loved one’s still physically with me in Joshua Tree. A huge feast awaited us, though assuming it was a potluck, we brought food. We enjoyed several helpings of well-prepared dishes and desserts.

mandalarew
The vision of him on stage was a mandala; I danced through the set only knowing that this was a person who would be part of my high desert activity indefinitely…..

Genie brought out her stack of Motown records and we danced for hours. As any gathering with Finesse, several photos taken allowed us to savor so many of these moments. This chilly night was a baby step on the long road to mending my broken heart though at the time I was not cognizant of this subtle change. This was the evening when new things came to me that would fill the space cleared by such a painstaking void.

This night, though Thanksgiving not Christmas, manifested in several gifts that seemed to be created for me and Galaxy. When Genie saw the tambourine that Galaxy had acquired at our horse rescue, she brought out an infant toy version of a tambourine that was far better and designed for a bunny. The tambourine was one of Genie’s daughter’s baby toys and at this time a gift for my Galaxy.

Later that evening the Joshua’s Tree arrived. Joshua’s Tree, and I had connected with him on Facebook, as a long-time friend of Finesse and her family. In my darkest hours of desperately missing Mr. Wonderful another lucky star was not far from me and Galaxy. I asked Finesse about him once I had accepted his friend request and she assured me that he was “one of us” and part of the tribe. Joshua’s Tree arrived with his guitar and Finesse’s mother eagerly anticipated him playing for all of us. Genie turned off the Motown tunes as Joshua’s Tree tuned his guitar.

Joshua’s Tree reminded me of a human sized genome, living inside an old tree, with soulful eyes and a welcoming smile. His clothing was tattered, yet his talent was at such a high-caliber that he played in so many venues. The signature harmonic strums of Joshua’s Tree’s guitar mesmerized Galaxy touching his delicate ears like tiny angels.

Galaxy was on the couch between myself and Moreen and as Galaxy slammed his brand new tambourine in syncopation, as Joshua’s Tree played the song which to this day Galaxy favors. Joshua’s Tree guitar playing puts Galaxy in a trance and he still accompanies Joshua’s Tree on his tambourine to the same song and in the same style.

Before Joshua’s Tree left Genie’s house, a less convenient surprise of nature created a potentially embarrassing situation. I had not had a period for nine months and resigned myself to this stage of life being over permanently. In a moment, I was bleeding and made a beeline for the bathroom before leaving a stain on Genie’s couch. My light-colored pants had a visible stain I had to wash out in the bathroom sink as much as possible. I could feel a cold sting as the water ran pierced the joints of my fingers and the bones of my knuckles. This sensation boosted an unhealthy adrenaline speeding up my heart rate and accentuating the pain I was so desperate to forget. A sharp pain surged through my hands as I grasped my pants and the blood washed down the sink. A bitter, frustrated tear fell from my eye as I tried to breathe through the sharp pains in my chest. Even if the stain did not show, my pants were soaking wet. My house was close, but I was without the mobility to run home and change.

I put the wet pants back on hoping no one would notice and that the dry air of the fire would take care of the problem. As uplifting as this festive night was for all of us, our sudden lack of transportation was still unresolved.

Throughout the evening, I heard talk of a new friend of Peter Pan Finesse referred to as a “guy crush.” It was clear that Peter-Pan was better equipped to replace Mr. Wonderful with another bar buddy, then I was to replace the man who I loved. Peter-Pan ended up on the phone with his new friend, The Joey. After this conversation of which I was paying little attention, Peter Pan announced that the Joey was on his way over, and would give Finesse and Peter Pan a ride home. When I asked about me, Finesse said with full confidence that he would take me home too. Since they lived all the way out in Joshua Tree Park and I was in the opposite direction, it did not seem plausible. Could Peter Pan be friends with someone so kind and charitable?

The Thanksgiving Joey arrived soon after Joshua’s Tree departed. Moreen, Finesse’s mother had also left. I was introduced to the Joey as he walked through Genie’s door and I made a half-hearted gesture from the couch of acknowledgement. “Hi, nice to meet you. This is Galaxy.” The Joey’s eyes widened creating a flicker of hazel and green tones, as he noticed a real live rabbit on my lap seated  atop  the bunny blanket I was using to conceal my still soaking wet pants. “

Oh, hi Galaxy, nice to meet you too.” I could only respond with a poignant distance, given how embarrassing quality of my wet

pastel drawing, house rabbit
Original artwork by Candice Silsby

pants, I was so desperate to keep concealed. I was also too deeply engaged in a multitude of thoughts. I was processing my emotions concerning my admission to Finesse about how much I missed Mr. Wonderful; I had not been sure she would empathize. Her father had passed away and she could not conceive of anything worse; my father had died more than ten years prior and the multitude of circumstances of Mr. Wonderful leaving me was so much more painful.

Shortly after his arrival, the Joey sat on the tile right by the warmth of the fire. He actually had a much longer history with Genie, so he had been invited to the gathering and as it seemed he must have been on the guest list expecting to arrive late. He had a band music, drummer, friends, music, communitysubtlety macabre upbeat demeanor, with a sharp wit that snapped stronger than the crackle coming from the fireplace. He demonstrated his problem-solving skills as he offered ideas and suggestions about the tire on the car while committing himself to helping them once again in the following AM.

To my eye, The Joey looked like a snowboarder warming up by the evening fire in a log cabin wearing thick warm felted wool. I stared at his olive skin tinting from the fire dancing on his face. As an artist I naturally scan people and objects with my eyes until the whole picture is complete and clear in front of me. My investigation revealed his woolen winter clothes with Teva style sandals and no socks. I laughed to myself as I remembered all the times I bundled up for the cool and did not have the energy left to put on socks or wasn’t able to locate a pair of clean ones. I did not resist the urge to comment……

Galaxy and The Joey Part 2: Thank-Give-Me Joey

Temperance and The Devil

Cougar in the Hunt

The Joey, The Galaxy, & Me Gallery

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Affirmations From The Galaxy: Heartbreak & Hope

I break free of unnecessary pain and sorrow

I ride away from sorrow swiftly on a horse as wild as me

we ride like the wind affirmations, empowerment, independance, hope, heartbreak, pain, love, self-esteem

into the sun…………….C.C. Silsbee

 

Reacting and responding are different; I am learning to RESPOND!……C.C.Silsbee

 

The most loving thing i can do now is leave someone behind; in moving forward i will one day find someone who will commit a loving act towards me & ask me to stay……C.C. Silsbee

More Affirmations From the Galaxy

 Shop To Save Animals! Every Purchase Funds At Least 14 Bowls Of Food For Shelter Animals In Need!

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Affirmations From The Galaxy: Lost & Found

Lost and Found Part 1

relationship fallout, love, breakup, heartbreak, sex, aging and sexuality
The truth is that not only was my trust for him implicit, it never occurred to me not to trust him.

Though I truly love you, I do not need you, therefore I can no longer want you, so I have to go away…..C.C. Silsbee

Temperance and The Devil

…..ships will pass in the night. They will pass until you get them all right. Then you will stand on the highest ground. If you’re never lost, how can you be found?“…..Pele Ju Ju, Santa Cruz CA.

Your youthful, willing, eager eyes intrigued me; your devotion captured me; your spontaneity freed me; your misguided

signature Mrs. Robinson leg, cougar, 21, lust, attraction, affair, 40, sexuality after 50
Not even the crowd all around us could distill his gaze..

impetuous youth hurt me; in the end I saw a moving picture of my past, fading in the distance gone forever and I quickly returned to me….C.C. Silsbee 

Cougar in the Hunt

 

 

 

 

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Affirmations From the Galaxy Wednesday

“Bitterness and hatred changes me into someone I don’t want to be; I will let go of these toxic emotions, so I can attract positive things to
affirmations, forgiveness, betrayal, heartbreak, hope, child abuse, substance abuse, mental illnessmy life”……………Candice Silsby

“The pursuit, even of the best things, ought to be calm and tranquil.”……Marcus Tullius Cicero

“My first impulse is to those who have done the wrongs that have caused me so much pain and grief; I choose to forgive, so that I can be free“……Candice Silsby

“I look to the Galaxy, when I am faced with what scares me the most: uncertainty and fear that I will be harmed by someone
I  love”…..Candice Silsby

Wisdom From the Galaxy

Cougar in the Hunt

Temperance and the Devil

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Affirmations From the Galaxy

blind rabbit, disabled, the universe, wisdomLove is a natural feeling that lives in the heart; sustainable love is love in action…..Candice Silsby

A step back is sometimes several steps forward…..Candice Silsby

My worth will never fluctuate; it remains high…Candice Silsby

When a man puts a woman on a high peta-stool, blind to her love, romance, attraction, encounter, date, music, dancing, brewery, night sky, stars, friendshipimperfections, down the long drop she will quickly and painfully fall from his favor, but she does not have to fall from her own grace….Candice Silsby

Temperance & The Devil

#love #joshuatreeMore Affirmations From the Galaxy

 

 

 

Altruism + Retail Therapy

Shop For Jewelry, Clothing And More To Help Rescue Animals!Shop For Green Products Now To Save The Rainforest!

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Affirmations From the Galaxy

#friendship #community

Affirmations From the Galaxy

When my heart is broken I take comfort in friends and look to the wisdom of the Galaxy” By Candice Silsby

#houserabbit #animalwisdom #affirmation #animalrescue #buddism
My house bunny Galaxy reminds me that love does not have to hurt.

“My house bunny taught me that love does not have to hurt”
Anonymous Bunny worshiper

“Hatred and vengeance is a trap that keeps us chained to the ones that hurt us; forgiveness is a sacred set of wings that carry us to freedom and closer to spirit.”

by Candice Silsby influenced by the Dali Llama

#thenightsky #findinsightsinthenaturalworld #relationships, #houserabbit #animalspirit #JoshuatreeWisdom From the Galaxy Blog

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New Blog Addition- Affirmations 3 Days a Week

For the purpose of reader engagement, and to greater fulfill the objectives of my blog, I will be posting relationship and animal inspired affirmations Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Affirmations will be original, written by me and quoted by others. Affirmations will link together with story posts that they apply Temperance & the Devil and Cougar In the Hunt, and upcoming serials. Best of all, I am hoping the comment section will allow for readers to add their own!!

Also, I am trying to develop a realistic and consistent flow of serial blog posts. I have been running into challenges with the emotional upheaval of the stories I am telling, (grief) so I need to slow down a little and begin injecting positives.

This blog is a labor of love, for women over 40 and most especially ANIMALS!

art opening, live music, house bunny, Joshua tree community, romantic evening
Photo courtesy of Vanessa Leigh Hinner a special friend and talented image capturer.

 

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