Temperance & The Devil Part 5: Galaxy Spell

This is the continuing story of Temperance and the Devil Part 4

Temperance and the Devil 5: Galaxy Spell Part 1

The hi-desert has known vortices, physical locations with intense energy. These vortices are not far from my house or my normal routine. The hi-desert cast a spell all its own; a simple evening outdoors, watching the bats come out to catch insects and grace the already spectacular sky has magical mystical powers. A local concert inspires and spontaneous love fests with old friends, folks from out-of-town, and new residents. Mr. Wonderful cast a spell while being spell-bound. The thoughtful, logical, and reasonable speech I carefully sketched out in my head disintegrated in the desert’s night air, overpowering my iron will. His words washed over me like the many starry nights I surrendered my will to and so was my surrender to his hopeful question.

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.…I was fast ascending into one of many unknown outer worlds…..
dating attraction, first kiss, love spell
Mr. Wonderful cast a spell while being spell-bound.

“Can I kiss you?” 

I was supposed to have an answer, but I was unable to speechless. I was also supposed to have a speech, but my oration skills were silenced in the spell of the desert night and she coaxed me back to my heart. His tone had that same kid-on christmas-morning blissfully hoping for the shiny new bike. There was also an exhaustion reverberating through his words, begging me to give in to him. All I could do was look down and give way to the weight of my body being swept away by every force around me; his hopeful words, the beautiful, magical night, his kindness, his gentle heart, his gentle soul, and the part of my heart that had been dormant for five-year that I wasn’t sure it still existed….

My tongue was momentarily disabled to answer his gallant request, as it was longing to wrap around his. Somehow, without a word from me, he had the answer he needed. Before I fell into a faint, his arms wrapped around me, as his lips procured perfect contact with mine and once again I was standing tall. In the back of my mind, I cursed the incredible sensations swimming through my body like tadpoles traveling upstream, I was having, since I had been determined to slow down the passion between us. The rest of my mind, my heart, my soul, and my fully engaged body surrendering and even igniting our passion which was escalating as we kissed. The smooth fabric of his shirt tickled my palms, as my hands traveled up his back as I gripped tighter.

I paused to take a breath and with abandon, his sweet lips made contact with the side of my neck. At this point, I didn’t want to stop and my better judgement was eclipsed by the magic of these moments gently taking us on a trip through the cosmos, even if our feet had been touching the ground. I renewed contact with his mouth and tongue leaning my head to the side that is comfortable for my neck pain.

Still holding each other tight, we once again stopped for air as if the intensity would trap us in a desert vortex. I momentarily lost my balance and as he gently held my waist to steady my stance as he

#photocollage #relationships #love #goodnightkiss #desertsky #high-desert
The wonder of this moment was too precious to squander….

said, “Are you okay?” for which I responded, “Yes, it has been a long time.” Given his circumstances of which I was cautiously aware, he had a strange response, “Me too.” As beautiful as I felt, his whispering declaration, “me too” brought a small portion my sensibilities back to the ground. He was 58, so how could he believe that six months constituted a long-time? The wonder of this moment was too precious to squander while at the same time, my mind had much to process. We proceeded to make-out, for a while longer, in between tight embraces. He gripped my bottom, briefly, and did the same with my breast above, as if he was performing a finale to a show with a cliffhanger. He refrained from sliding his hand under my clothes since doing this would have made it impossible to stop. His struggle to stay in control was as endearing and sexy as his heart and soul.

I am not sure if we said goodnight or if it was implied, but as he selected the right key to unlock the car with both hands, he revealed the tremor his entire body was experiencing. In my moment of flattery, I said, “Please let me know you made it home safe” A subtle wave of confusion washed over me, as I wondered in my mind what was next. My impulse to analyse and discuss what had just happened made a momentary trip through my mind, but my heart was savoring the precious moments we had just shared quieting all impulses to over-think. This was an intense sensation my heart could not sacrifice to logic. I was swimming in the crystalline waters of love, but the bread crumbs and stones I dropped, to find my way back, were swept out to sea beyond my grasp.

Temperance & The Devil 6: Ambivalence

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House rabbits, animal wisdom, spirit animals
When my mind races too fast, loving and caring for Galaxy eases my rapid heart beat….

As a woman over 40, pushing 50, have created this blog for the purposed of using my writing skills to create something especially meaningful to women. The best show of appreciation, since this blog is brand new, is feedback, sharing my site with others, and a donation of any amount in that order. Even a small donation, will go a long way to support my gourmet coffee habit.
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Temperance & The Devil Part 4: Galaxy Spell

The Continuation story of Temperance and The Devil Part 3

Temperance and The Devil Part 4: Galaxy Spell 

first kiss, dating, attraction, falling in love, romantic night, desert night sky
….suddenly, the weight of my body was gone as if I was ascending into one of many unknown outer worlds, completely unafraid of where I was going….

As Mr. Wonderful drove us off the dirt road away from Melanie’s house I felt like being quiet, so I did not speak. I reasoned that he needed to see that I was not always chatty and prone to silences. I was experiencing a trance from the way he had been looking at me all night and every attempt he made to pursue me. More than anything I was deep in sentiment about what had happened, while entranced by what was happening, and above all anticipating all that could happen upon arrival to my house. The inevitable goodnight kiss awaiting me was dominating my thoughts, swirling around in my mind, as I struggled to steady my trembling body. My lips tingled as I thought about his mouth opening to mine. I was fully aware of how much I wanted it and I also knew that this was happening too fast and too soon. I had no choice other than to put up a gentle but firm cautionary road block.

Milky way, star gazing, romance, love, falling in love, goodnight kiss, passion
…It felt like the entire universe, the night sky, and the desert landscape was creating a magical atmosphere in honor of us….


Still under the inexplicable spell of the hi-desert night, I wanted to stay silent, which is not an attribute characteristic of me. I took advantage of the fact that I was in the mood to quiet, despite everything I was thinking. For some reason, I wanted him to experience this more mysterious side of my demeanor, even if I show this side infrequently. As he drove us along the remote road, as if the road and the night sky belong only to us, I noticed that he could not stop moving his right hand along the outside of his leg. I could only hear a faint sound of his hand scraping on his jeans in the silence that lingered between the two of us, though not too audible over my car’s engine. I stared at his hand moving back and forth. Had the night sky of the desert not been so powerful to all of my senses, I may have given in to the impulse to reach out and grab his hand and hold it so he would stop.

first kiss, dating, attraction, falling in love, romantic night, desert night sky
Suddenly, the weight of my body was gone as if I was ascending into one of many unknown outer worlds, completely unafraid of where I was going.

He was the one to break the silence which I was actually enjoying, given that the intense energy between us was enough volume.

“…So, do you work?”

This was not a complicated question, yet instead of simply giving him an answer, I responded with a nervous laugh. For me, it was an odd question with no context or conversational thread. I began my answer with something like “A little out of the woodwork….” But I cut myself off given that I didn’t want to work too hard, given how intense the stirrings inside me were affecting me and the rapid beat of my heart making it difficult to even laugh.

“Well I was injured years ago, so I have been freelance writing online.” I told him that I had been writing online and that my dream career is puppetry but the puppets I made were destroyed in the fire. I cut myself off again given how hard this situation is for me.

The next topic of conversation was natural, as I became aware of the fact that we had been driving on the same road, Aberdeen, for too long. Mr. Wonderful missed the turn to my house. He softly explained that we would be turning on Border, which happened to be close to where he lived. He subtly mentioned that he had missed the correct turn because I think he was a little embarrassed and wanted me to know only that he was in control of the situation. He went on to say that turning on Border would take us into Joshua Tree.

“Oh, so we are making a circle and will double back to my place.”

“Right” I was glad to let him off the hook, even if I was aware that he missed the turn, because he was distracted by me, so I allowed the flattery to sink into my heart amid all the feelings, emotions, and sensations ever-present. While driving through Joshua Tree I noticed police cars in one of the gas stations which is not unusual at the hour of the

date, love, attraction, night sky, magic of the galaxy
“What exactly is the attraction?’ I asked as he stroked me in all the right places with his fingertips…….

night we were cruising through town. What struck me as odd was that he quickly rubber necked with wide eyes, not like the eyes that looked at me; this was scrutiny and suspicion, but above all the look on his face and in his eyes was really odd. He had not been drinking, so he had no real reason to be concerned about a police presence especially one focused elsewhere. I dismissed this oddity as the normal caution everyone experiences when they see police officers. The truth is that not only was my trust for him implicit, it never occurred to me not to trust him. Mr. Wonderful, per my instructions pulled up and parked my car in front of my house, since his car was in the driveway. As we opened our doors the desert’s magic was felt with full magnetic charge. Suddenly, the weight of my body was gone as if I was ascending into one of many unknown outer worlds, completely unafraid of where I was going. The colors of the night spread infinitely, vibrant and beautiful with my senses fully engaged, affecting a full body euphoria. Magic was in the air generated by the night sky, but the charge between us added to the overall intensity. Both Mr. Wonderful and I moved slowly, as if to savor every moment. He lingered at the back of my car where we naturally met, handing me my keys waiting for my signals to provide a beacon to guide his desires to my shores. I subtly signaled him towards the line of vision of the bird’s nest in the Joshua Tree that stands at the edge of my yard, along my driveway, which just happened to usher him closer to me. He was genuinely interested in the baby birds and the nest; I would later find out his magical night vision for desert wildlife, so sharp and defiant to any mortal’s natural senses. At the same time, it was an opportunity to position himself closer to me. One of the reasons I was quiet and reflective on the ride home was because knowing there would be a goodnight kiss with a passionate embrace our chest’s rubbing up against each other intermittently tapped by the beating of each of our hearts. His pelvis would be fighting to merge with mine, inevitably touching, despite attempts at self-control, our heads in dialogue with our hearts; our heads trying to convince our hearts to resist carnal desires. Knowing this inevitability, I formulated an intelligent and logical verbal halt to the physical passion inviting me so near to him. The mysterious vortex of the desert, in actual proximity to our physical placement, at this time, was pulling me far away from any sensibility. My mind was trying to stay attached to practical reality, but the vortex, the romantic intoxicating desert night sky, and the energy between us was a stronger pull on my soul and body. We walked slowly to the side of his car both of us lingering in the wonder that was casting its own spell; the magic of the desert and the magic of us. As we stopped at his car, I suddenly felt my feet firm and planted on the ground for the first time all night. My spirit was in a whirlwind as my body naturally stood before him fully aware of where I was and what was happening. His voice caused a subtle vibration through my chest as he asked “Can I kiss you?”

Temperance and the Devil Part 5 

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Cougar in the Hunt 3: Here’s to You Mrs. Robinson

animal medicine, animal spirit, the universe, companion animals, astronomy, stars, desert sky

Continuing story of Cougar in the Hunt 2: Did You Really Say 21?

Having a companion rabbit is a magic that creates an incredible life balance. My Galaxy leaves me wanting for very little. Galaxy’s unique wisdom of the universe and many ages past, provides remarkable insights that would otherwise be hard to realize.

Is the power of intense attraction a force of nature or a force to be reckoned with? As empowered, free, a liberated women, how do we balance personal discretion and our myriad of choices?

Appreciation from a suitor, especially with a broken heart, is intoxicating and for me this reach was far beyond addiction. It was a rip-current literally pulling my body further out to sea. Swimming against the power of this current, for the rest of the evening to follow, was exhausting.

As the experienced adult in the situation, I kept the door to physical and personal intimacy locked with a dead bolt. Throughout the night, Mr. Man tried any number of keys in the hopes that one would fit and he could finally unlock the barrier keeping him from having me. Unrealistic promises were spread out like a royal rug at my feet with him on his knees eager to kiss and caress them.

Had I been in my early 20s the night I met Mr. Man I would have been fully taken in by these overtures. Mr. Man was not taking me anywhere, since I knew better, at least not by these means.

signature Mrs. Robinson leg, cougar, 21, lust, attraction, affair, 40, sexuality after 50
….. the skin of the palm of his hand and his fingers wrapped around the skin of my knee……

He continued to verbally corner me with his desire to be physically closer to me by inquiry. The Tin-Man and Finesse were displaying their affections out in the open. Their public physical displays were not vulgar or offensive, just not within my personal comfort zone. The intensity of his eye contact was impossible to miss or escape, as it followed me with skill and precision.
The only time he took his penetrating green eyes off of me, was the moments when he was observing Tin-Man and Finesse across the coffee table. Clearly, Mr. Man looked to the Tin-Man actions for guidance.

“Why can’t we be like they are?” His voice reverberated eagerness, longing, hope, and least of all, a question  I didn’t know if he wanted to be in bed with me or wanted to put his hands on me to navigate a future encounter. The alcohol and the hour of the night continued to wear me down, not to his explicit desires, but to my ability to discourage him or divert the conversation. All I could say was a few broken words that I know I could have articulated better.
“They have known each other for years. You and I just met” There was no way he could dispute my logic, though he would negotiate with a solid strong will.
Determined to negotiate my terms he began, “We are-” Sharply cutting him off I said, “…talking, just as we ought to be. There is nothing wrong with that.” He had already characterized himself and me as “we.” 

For all his bold and explicit verbal expressions, he did not make a single physical advance, covertly or otherwise. He didn’t manipulate me or anyone else in an effort to trap me into being alone with him. All advances were verbal and while he was manipulative with words, the only physical overture was sitting shoulder to shoulder with me.  

affair, cougar, 21, transition, reflection, regret, denial, infatuation, conquest, lust
Somehow, if he could captivate me in the dark of the predawn maybe the sun wouldn’t take me away from him.

Earlier that evening, I made it clear to him that I did not like cigarette smoke. He had said he would throw his entire pack out for me, though I did not believe him. He got up from the couch, where we were sitting together and excused himself to go outside and smoke. Of course I let my disdain show, so he repeated his willingness to throw out the pack, but this time with a condition, “What am going to get?” as if my body was the bargaining chip for his ability to save his own life. I couldn’t dignify this with an answer not just because it was absurd, but also because I wasn’t prepared to even consider all that he wanted. His direct communication was beginning to get obtrusive and I was feeling the pressure.

When he returned, the smell made it hard for me to breathe given that he reclaimed his position, right next to me our shoulder touching. I got up to plug-in my phone that was running low on battery and showed him more photos. The air coming in from the wide open door of the J&P’s studio distilled the nicotine smell that was making it difficult to breathe so my affair, cougar, confusion, temptation, lust, attractioninhibitions were relaxed and relatively balanced. For some reason I was opening my personal life to him by showing him family photos including baby pictures. I opened Facebook infant photos most of which included my eldest sister, at six, followed by a current photo of her. I took the built-in opportunity to point out the contrast between my nearly identical mother and sister due to my mother’s chain-smoking. He was touched by the photos of me as an infant and the sight of my artwork photos raised the level of his infatuation.

At some point we went outside for fresh air where we continued to talked as I coughed.

“You don’t have to cough. You don’t like it, I get it.”

“It isn’t that. I grew up with a chain smoker who never opened windows, so I have chronic health issue and sensitivity. Even the resin on walls or clothes makes it hard to breath.” I went on to intimate to him that I watched my mother cough up chunks of green mucus at least once a day. His face was pensive and tried to express as much empathy as his lack of experience could accommodate. He also looked suspicious that I was trying to manipulate him, weakening his resolve to claim my body in exchange for nicotine abstinence. When I told him I was getting chilly he followed me back inside and we took our place on the couch.

With the prospect of morning drawing near he widened his tired eyes and adjusted his position to deepen his contact with my eyes, as if he could magically be permitted to touch me by hypnosis. His green eyes scanned my face as if they could capture me and carry me away. Somehow, if he could captivate me in the dark of the predawn maybe the sun wouldn’t take me away from him.
Eyes penetrating me he persisted, “So? What are we doing?”

“We are talking,” I replied with an authority that sounded weaker in my fatigue.

“You know what I mean?” He said with a frustrated tone that he tried to soften with a growling whisper. My only ally was the strength of my adrenalin.

“At this stage in my life,” I said, trying to remind him of my advanced age, “I can’t afford to be impetuous,” He asked me to define impetuous, as if this was the golden key that would let him enter. I explained the word impetuous and he needed more so I said “Being impetuous is my nature, but I have learned to control it and use discretion.” He repeated my words back to himself as if he needed greater clarity. I knew I needed to tell him there was no way anything would happen, but my impetuous-attention-craving early 20s were creeping back in such a subtle manner, that I didn’t notice. Part of me enjoyed the attention that was constant when I was in my early 20s and the other part of me was exhausted. The other part of me might have felt it was far too obtrusive, but there was no question I had the upper hand and he was enslaved to his desires for me. He wasn’t satisfied, so he pretended to need more explanation and I knew he was young, yes, stupid no. I tried a subtle diversion tactic. Again calling attention to the severe gap in our stages of life. “When I was 19, 20, and 21 I was wild…” I was cut off by his face lighting up, like a second wind, so I hastened my tone. “…I was reckless and very impetuous. I only got away with it because I was so young; I would never live through the things that I did then at this stage in my life.” He turned forward, reflectively, though not willing to concede. I continued “I believe, rather I know that there are special angels that work overtime for young people since they don’t know better.” He was impressed with my thoughtful expression and ability to articulate and while fully attentive to everything I was saying, he was not distracted from his acquisition.

As our gathering neared 4am, I asked him if he was tired, suggesting it was time to leave. I warned Mr. Man that Finesse would be slow-moving getting to the car. While we got ready to leave J&P’s after party, something happened, shattering the only resolve I had been clinging to the entire evening. Regardless of how flattering the overt attention felt, I had to be equally resigned to the reality that he was only 21.

affair, obsession, infatuation, regret, mistakes, infatuation

As Mr. Man rose from being sunk down into the couch with me all of my resolve was shattered in an instant.

Once he was sitting fully upright, the palm of  Mr. Man’s calloused hand landed on my knee. The skin of his palm touched my knee cap and each finger fell and wrapped around my knee. As his skin touch mine and a I felt the his grip an ignited desire traveled through my leg and to my pelvis. With his touch, I felt my stomach tighten reaching up to grip my chest as my entire leg trembled, though motionless, steadied under the weight of his grip. Clearly, it was unintentional, given that the entire evening he had not tried, even covertly, to force physical contact with me. While his forceful words were an overt expression of want of physical contact with me, this was the only time he actually put a hand on me. In this moment, the whole situation shifted from a clear logical decision to do what is right to complicated and compelling temptation. There was no denying that his hand on me caused me to feel strong sensations and the situation would no longer be a simple discretion. As of that moment, the struggle between the wisdom of my mind and the desires of my body would begin.

cougar, abstract photo collage, Mrs. Robinson leg, lust , infatuation, sex, affair, 21, older woman, menopause
As the desert sky turn the room dark, he stared down at me, silently…

Cougar in The Hunt Part 4: Here’s to You Mrs. Robinson 

As a woman over 40, pushing 50, I have created this blog for the purposed of using my writing skills to create something especially meaningful to women. The best show of appreciation, since this blog is brand new, is feedback, sharing my site with others, and a donation of any amount in that order. Even a small donation, will go a long way to support my gourmet coffee habit.

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Cougar in the Hunt Part 2: Did You Really Say 21?

The following is Part 2 of Cougar In the Hunt
cougar, 21-year-old-male, lust, dating, infatuation, romantic encounter, middle aged female sexuality, romantic encounter
“At least a corner of one of his eyes would be fixed on every portion of my body as the minutes after midnight became hours”

By way of some mystery guy code, a fresh drink was placed on the table in front of me. Tin-Man and Mr. Man collectively offered to finance another margarita and simultaneously jumped up once they convinced me to accept. When confronted with the initial offer, my response was that I was driving, therefore I could not drink anymore. Mr. Man’s quick response offered a multitude of answers to my dilemma. He would drive me home; he would take me wherever I wanted to go; he would ensure that I made it home safe, and above all I was in his sober and capable hands. Finesse interjected a response to Mr. Man’s heroism by mentioning that we were invited to go to J&P’s for our usual after party. Mr. Man turned her way for the information and then turned his head back in an instant to fixate once again on my face. With soft questioning eyes, he said “If that is where you are going, then that is where I am going. I will go anywhere you are going. No matter where it is, if you will be there, I will be there.”

As Mr. Man made his declarations, including the promise to be my designated driver, Finesse giggled with hysterics at his direct, poignant, and bold pursuit of me. In this moment, she dubbed me a cougar and made wild cat noises while flapping her hand, like a paw, at me. As the tequila portion of my margarita singed my tongue in passing, I felt the soils of the cliff’s edge crumble beneath me, gravity pulling my body further down towards an unknown abyss. Even souzed, one of my closest friends noticed how enamored Mr. Man was, in my presence, clear as day, in the dark desert night. How could I deny this infatuation knocking my equilibrium off its axis?

To regain my balance, I responded by suggesting the four of us head over to J&P’s place in one car. Within the corners of my mind, I reasoned that Finesse and Tin-Man were at least one safety net in addition to all of our other friends. I felt the pulling motion of my entire person swept up into something that I was not given the time or opportunity to fully assess before being carried away by the whirlwind.

10881626_1381096982192956_237500888385919287_nFor the rest of the show, at least one of Mr. Man’s eyes would be fixed on every portion of my body, as the minutes after midnight became hours. The table the four of us shared was far from the dance floor, yet as Finesse and I were dancing, my body felt the undertow of Mr. Man’s eyes hinged on my every move. Not even the crowd, all around me, distilled his penetrating gaze. This could have caused an unsettling discomfort, in my chest, had it not been so honest and for all intent and purpose harmless. The band played their last songs, as Tin-Man and I finished our drinks clinking our glasses together between swigs.

female sexuality mid-life, lust, sex, attraction, cougar, 21-year-old, sexual choice, single,
“His eyes remained wide, like he was afraid I would disappear or get away if he blinked”

As Mr. Man and I continued to talk, while I drank, he kept a firm grasp on my every word as if every phrase was a life-preserver. His eyes remained wide, like he was afraid I would disappear or escape if he blinked.

As our conversation continued and his fascination grew, I noticed a deformity in his right hand. Instead of asking if he injured his hand or if the malady is birth defect, I found myself telling him every detail of my hand injury, as if I knew I would be fully understood. Despite how young he was, there was no doubt he related to my limitations and even proved himself an authority.

Camouflaged in his blanket jacket, he had half an arm with half a hand. The temptation to touch it overwhelmed my still hands, though I didn’t, since I did not care to patronize him or make any physical overtures he could interpret as sexual. The truth is, I find deformities fascinating. Anatomical differences, such as his, are like rare art, beautiful and intriguing, something unique, and sacred to behold. I am certain this is why I found him compelling despite his age.
affair, cougar, confusion, temptation, lust, attractionMy heart warmed from typical winter frigid to tepid, as I looked into his wide eyes and examined his disfigured body, while trying to be subtle and not seductive. In an effort to cool my warming heart, I continued to force logic and reality, into my mind, regarding his age.

I could feel so many of my firm beliefs erode, like the crumbling cliff below my unsteady and trembling feet. My enjoyment of Mr. Man, his countenance, and our conversation did not irritate me as it should have given that he was only 21. At this stage of my life, I find people in their early 20s, especially male, irritating. He neither annoyed or caused irritation.
As the alcohol seared my already spinning cerebellum, I tried to focus on the fact that he had only recently reached adulthood. In juxtaposition, with this brand new adult, was my adulthood spanning longer than his entire life. If this night had happened only four years earlier, he would not even be able to consent to the desires he was expressing with blunt and candid conviction. Looking at his driver’s license and learning that underage IDs are now vertical instead of horizontal, should have been a jolt more powerful than anything, but he did not take his eyes off me long enough for me to notice.
photo collage, cougar, lust, sex, affair, attraction, infatuation, fantasy

Blinding myself to the obvious fact that he appeared, dressed, and acted 21 was impossible. At the same time I never tried to justify my attraction to him with any absurd cliques like ‘mature for his age,’ or ‘he and I spiritually the same age.’ I could never live in the sort of denial that would enable me to lie to myself in this manner.

Nonetheless, I was caught off guard; In my world, I don’t enjoy keeping company with anyone younger than 40 other than family. Anyone in my life under 40 is either family, or the offspring of my peers. I could not  escape reality; this young man was young enough to be my son. My nephew, the closest person to a son of mine, was only two years younger. I could not imagine bringing any relationship with a 21-year-old to my family.

Even in an inebriated state, there was no denying these facts in my mind. My body, at this point, had no idea what would happen and the eruptive sensations yet to come.
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As a woman over 40, pushing 50, have created this blog for the purpose of using my writing skills to create something especially meaningful to women. The best show of appreciation, since this blog is brand new, is feedback, sharing my site with others, and a donation of any amount in that order. Even a small donation, will go a long way to support my gourmet coffee habit.

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Cougar In The Hunt: Moments

He said to me “…Immaturity is a burden,” and that he was….

In just a MOMENT

cougar, sex, dating, romantic encounter, attraction, lust, infatuation, leg, Mrs. Robinson, photo collage
Not even the crowd, all around me, distilled his penetrating gaze. “
a young person, unexpectedly crashed into my world,
for a moment
In  just a moment, a young person was under a spell I never cast
In just a moment a young person was hypnotized lost in the moment, with me
In a moment he fell down to my feet,
For a Moment, a young person ignited an impulsive fire and impetuous spirit in me….
For a moment, a young person promised me
the moon and the stars,
his everlasting devotion,
to serenade me in the dark of night,
I did not believe it for a moment,..but for a moment I believed that he believed…..
For a moment, I believed in this young person
For a moment, I believed that for at least a moment, I could
For a moment a young person helped me to live in the moment,
sharing fleeting moments with me.
For a moment, this young person showed me a kind of courage rarely seen in young people.
For a moment, I forgot what is wrong and remembered everything that is right
for a moment
For a moment I let a young person near
and in a single moment I wished I hadn’t
In a moment he said that ‘immaturity is a burden’
and in just a moment a burden he became
For a moment, this young person forced a painful reminder of how confusing, turbulent, unstable, and traumatic my 20s were
how betrayed I felt, so often, as a developing woman, so much of the time…
For a moment, my very life was suddenly forced into a time machine, that hijacked my soul back to that tough stage of compulsive drama and heartache,
revolving mistakes I could never comprehend,
mistakes repeating, repeating, repeating,
constantly spinning through my head and my heart,
through a vast time and space…never knowing my place.
cougar, lust, encounter, attraction, infatuation, admiration, menopause, aging women and sexuality
“…..he said immaturity is a burden, and a burden he was…”
For a moment I was lost to everything I have struggled to be and became everything I am and stand for.as a woman.
For a moment, I cried for the naive, unsure, and vulnerable young woman I once was,
the scarred girl wearing her trauma,

like a brooch piercing her heart.

a lifetime ago….
#Mrs.Robinson #cougar #cub #lust
In THIS moment, here and now, I am more happy than I ever thought, to have left so many painful moments, my 20s, behind forever-ago.
In THIS moment, I am wise, enlightened, and fully aware that my 20s are not only past, but that I will never have to pass that way again.
In this moment, I will look to myself and how glad I am for me and will look to all future moments when I will grow older and better
till I meet my next life.
And….at this moment, I will be grateful for what this young person revealed to me,
in a just a moment,#cougar #Mrs.Robinson #lust #infatuation #21 #menopause #singlewomanover40

The Desert Diva

The “In Just a Moment” Story: Cougar In The Hunt 

As a woman over 40, pushing 50, have created this blog for the purposed of using my writing skills to create something Shop For Jewelry, Clothing And More To Help Rescue Animals!especially meaningful to women. The best show of appreciation, since this blog is brand new, is feedback, sharing my site with others, and a donation of any amount in that order. Even a small donation, will go a long way to support my gourmet coffee habit.

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Temperance and The Devil Part 2: Is This a Date?

The Following is the Part 2, continuing story of Temperance and the Devil

A wave of compassion washed over me every time Mr. Wonderful posted something on Facebook. For some reason, something deep inside me wanted to reach out to him with both arms. Then on a typical Sunday afternoon, a strange Facebook interaction with Mr. Wonderful happened and provided me more clues, though I admit I was still quite oblivious. Mr. Wonderful posted something odd and scary to me about being a libertarian. It did not sound characteristic of him. This gentle, soft-spoken, kind, mature, benevolent man could not have such misguided beliefs. He portrayed himself as kind man of heart and charity, so I was not willing to believe him associated with such a subversive political affiliation.

I posted in his comment section, asking if he was familiar with the libertarian party and their scary, survivalist, misguided activities. Within moments, he engaged me in a personal message chat, and thus I learned more about him. He was terrible at online chats, yet it was still clear that he really wanted me to understand him. He defended his position firmly, but at the same time tried to make light of it. It was clear my approval was precious to him. I had struck a curious cord. These factors were jumbled and unclear and his incompetency with Facebook chatting, not to mention my own, didn’t provide much clarity. This interaction was puzzling, momentarily, but I honestly did not give it too much thought.

California High Desert, music, dancing, roadtrip, dating
“It took everything in me to drive safely…..”

Several weeks later, our Grateful Dead revival band announced on their Facebook page that they would be doing a show at the Lander Brewery. I had never been to the Lander’s Brewery, so I yearned to be a part of this venue the moment I read the announcement. I was determined to attend this show, even though I reasoned that I would have many chances to see them play closer to home. My gas tank was too low to for the trip to Landers, so in a surge of creative thinking, I reached out on Facebook for a carpool. My zeal increased, as I imagined a fun road trip with new-found friends. In my Facebook post, I was specific with every detail that I wanted to split gas with as many folks as my car could fit. I included an offer to pick up anyone from the Yucca Mesa area on the way to the brewery.

Within mere seconds, of my carpool request post, Mr. Wonderful responded on Facebook chat. He made it clear that he would pick me up and drive me to the Brewery. This arrangement did not seem like the carpool I had requested, causing me to wonder if he was simply being a gentleman, or was he altering my situation into a date. I was only beginning to put the pieces together enough to wonder what this evening meant to Mr. Wonderful. Was our plan, restructured by him, considered a date, despite my specifics of carpooling and gas sharing? He was being a gentleman, but that was not the whole picture.

I would find out later that the house he had moved into, at Mr. Tree Man’s place, is actually on the way to the Landers Brewery. Instead of the logical plan of me picking him up, he drove all the way to my house, in the opposite direction, so that he could drive me to the show. This was a significant number of miles and gas consumed so that he could be in the driver’s seat.

In the midst of all these hazy reflections, I heard from yet another interested party, who wanted to come along as a carpool participant. Of course I welcomed her, knowing that I was bringing a date on the date Mr. Wonderful had orchestrated.  I phoned the interested third-party, Melanie, to invite her and it turned out that we had tons in common including history with my cousin. My adrenaline was high, as I dressed for the evening and put on my makeup. My anticipation traveled up to my head, causing me to feel dizzy and a little magical Hi-Desert, sunsets in the California Hi-Desert, attraction, dating, friends, music, dancingdisoriented. This same scenario had happened many time in years prior. A male friend of mine would assume that a friendship based outing to be a date with me. My change of venue, like including others, would cause an upset, often resulting in the male friend pouting in awkward disappointment on his part. If this were to happen with Mr. Wonderful, the entire evening would be uncomfortable and without an escape route.

Mr. Wonderful actually passed the test, with the highest score possible, adapting fully to my reversing his change of venue. He arrived at my house very late, as he had explained via Facebook chat that he had fallen asleep. I was seconds away from giving up on him. I had actually written him a note and left my back up cell phone for him to borrow. The note said that I couldn’t wait anymore, but I hoped he would go to the show anyhow. He pulled up just as I was about to leave.

He approached me, with his characteristic soft-spoken manner, apologizing profusely with a longing in his eyes for forgiveness. In haste, pressured by the fact that there was a third-party waiting for me and anxious to leave, I told him, with haptic eagerness,  about Melanie coming with us. He acted as a gentleman, pleased and willing to pick her up and have her join us. Counter to his plans, we went in my car with me at the wheel to make room for Melanie. Within minutes of driving away from my house, my entire body all but trembled with anticipation, as his longing for me was a strong force entering my soul like a silent whirlwind. Now that he was right next to me his feeling were crystal clear. He noticed my gas tank’s low level and with his characteristic soft-spoken gentle firmness,  suggested that we stop for gas on the way to the show.

It took everything in me to drive safely, and when I inquired by phone with Melanie, for directions to her house, I could not retain a single word. My tongue vibrated as it trembled to say to Mr. Wonderful that my short-term memory was suffering with age. As it happened, Mr. Wonderful retained all speakerphone information and guided the way as my attentive copilot. His credibility was growing.

stars, night sky in the mojave desert, California high desert, astronomy, California High Desert, romantic moment, attraction, star gazing
He placed his hand on my back, then moved in close and with his other hand, he pointed to the sky as he whispered into my ear the names of stars just above us.”

Mr. Wonderful impressed me, when he listened and retained the complicated directions to Melanie’s house. He knew the area better than me, though I was blown away by his ability, ten years older than me, to retain information dictated only once. I was filled with far too many adrenals. I was filled with nervous anticipation about how Mr. Wonderful would receive Melanie. My phone conversation with her provided a strong indication that she is a transgendered woman. He passed this test by treating her with the same chivalrous kindness as myself. His warmth was clear and present, which shot my adrenals and elevated my heart beat and body temperature. I am not sure how I was able to drive us safely. In short, I was really starting to like Mr. Wonderful and this was entirely unexpected and I was not prepared to process being courted in this manner.

When we arrived at Melanie’s house Mr. Wonderful gave her the front seat and sat in the back seat. He sat quiet as Melanie and I talked becoming closer acquainted. When I pulled up to the gas station, he proceeded to buy and pump the gas and would not let Melanie give him her committed contribution. He also said that he would drive us all back if she and I wanted to drink, and that all drinks were going to be at his expense. Given how he was treating my date Melanie, his approval rating reached a new height.

#photocollage #relationships #love #goodnightkiss #desertsky #high-desert
The wonder of this moment was too precious to squander while at the same time, my mind had much to process.

As we pulled into the brewery and I parked, it was one of the many times of the evening that is especially beautiful in the desert. The sun had sunk out of sight, yet still providing enough light to illuminate the Joshua Trees and the endless surrounding hillsides. The stars became visible one by one. Mr. Wonderful managed to steal a precious moment with me, and in doing so managed to take a gentle, but firm, grip on my heart. He put his hand on my back, then moved in close and with his other hand he pointed to the sky as he whispered into my ear the constellations just above us. My love for astronomy was touched like an angel’s sacred blessing. He had knowledge of something precious to me. Somehow he knew to share this part of himself with me in the most intimate way possible, with an amorous whisper, as if I was the only one in such a vast universe who mattered. This was the bridge in the gap of political and spiritual belief that, previous to this moment, our moment, that until this time had seemed too wide. astronomy, the night sky, stars, the universe

As we entered the unpretentious brewery, we were greeted by our pack, Tricia upfront, excited to see us and as it happened very excited to see myself and Mr. Wonderful together. All eyes were on us as, while both his eyes were on me.

In my mind I pondered my suspicion of Mr. Wonderful seeing this outing as a date. On this date, I did the driving and brought a date of my own. I felt lucky and confused at the same time and all my head could do was spin and my feet could not feel the solid ground down below. I followed Tricia into the bathroom, so that I could confer with her about what was happening.

“I am nervous, because I have a strong feeling that he sees this as a date. I wasn’t sure beforehand. I invited Melanie….I brought a date on our date!” I exclaimed.

Tricia looked me right in the eye and matter of fact replied “Yes, of course he does. He likes you. He thinks you are gorgeous.”


Temperance and the Devil Part 3 

As a woman over 40, pushing 50, have created this blog for the purpose of using my writing skills to create something especially meaningful to women. The best show of appreciation, since this blog is brand new, is feedback, sharing my site with others, and a donation of any amount in that order.

Even a small donation, will go a long way to support my gourmet coffee habit.

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