Affirmations From The Galaxy Wednesday

Affirmations on Aging, brought to my readers by Cougar in the Hunt

#cougar #Mrs.Robinson #attraction #21 #lust
….my resolve to not be involved with this young man was torn down the moment the palm of his had touched my knee..”

1) Age is not just a number, it represents wisdom from experience while reaping the benefits of seeds sown and propagated.

2) If an aging woman is not beautiful in your eyes, your eyes must mature enough to see what is real.

3) An aging woman is wise, competent, strong, and true to herself.

4) A young woman lost will best find her way by reaching for the hands of her elder female sisters who have walked her path……..

5) Menopause may cause brief moments of temporary “insanity” but the outcome is a new life of limited mistakes……..

Cougar In the Hunt  selfyoungnowold

Cougar in the Hunt Vlog: VIDEO!

More Affirmations From The Infinite Galaxy

Who is Galaxy?

photo collage depicting the changes of an aging woman

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Cougar in the Hunt Part 1 Vlog

{Full written version: Cougar in The Hunt 1}


sepiaAs I showed Mr. Man a video of my rabbit Galaxy, whatever had been wrong with him had been left far behind as he ventured into the land of me. Naturally engaging him in conversation took little to no effort which was odd. His wide-eyed naiveté displayed great appreciation for my talents and accomplishments. He was quick to fire blunt andfeature uncensored expressions of attraction and desire for me that seared through my body too rapid for me to put up defences. The odd connection sparked something in me while at the same time my sense of better judgement kept me anchored even though inside I was spinning. In the midst of this strange encounter, my hot flashes inevitably came to adding fuel to the overall confusion.
As I continue to grow older, the surrounding people seem to grow younger often limiting my compatible choices. Although cleaver in his own right, Mr. Man was way too inexperienced to set pretences. I had been his age, long ago, he had never been my age, not in this lifetime anyway. His courage and forthright manner prevented me from believing he was way to young. At the very least, these bold qualities left me open-minded to possibilities not yet explored.

Mr. Man told me to guess his age and without much thought, I looked into his face, trying not to lose myself in his eager green eyes, and replied 32. A baffled expression gave me a momentary warm sensation that I had guessed right as I had adjusted my line of demarcation in my mind to accommodate this bizarre connection.
My instinct turned false as he told me he is 21 less than half my time on earth. This warm sensation turned to an ache in my head that seemed to accentuate the lines in my face he was unable to see. My wrinkles creased tighter as it occurred to me that Mr. Man could be my son and his mother my same age or younger. A twisting sensation occurred in my stomach as I tried to tighten my grip on the ground beneath me. Clearly, I had reached the edge of the cliff with the earthen soil eroding under the weight of my stance. My only choices were to fight or give way to gravity, but someone would fall.

When I told Mr. Man I had great insight into people, often within seconds of meeting them, he was quick to ask for specifics about him, his eyes widening in the hopes of capturing me. My keen instinct told me he was eager to see inside me, far more than inviting me into his world. His navigation efforts played out through the night and into the following week.

Cougar in the Hunt Part 2: Did You Really Say 21?

As a woman over 40, pushing 50, have created this blog for the purposed of using my writing skills to create something especially meaningful to women. The best show of appreciation, since this blog is brand new, is feedback, sharing my site with others, and a donation of any amount in that order. Even a small donation, will go a long way to support my gourmet coffee habit.

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Cougar in the Hunt 7: Sun to Moon

Sun To Moon

Continuation of Cougar in The Hunt Part 6

The gravitational pull of the moon in the high desert is not only a phenomenal force, but also has a wider reach and greater affect our collective equilibrium. I love to watch the bats in the bluish grey black twilight though fewer turn out when the moon is full. The instincts of bats and other wildlife is a special kind of wisdom.

#menopauseandsexuality #photocollage #cougar #maturity #antipatingoldage
The intense warmth of the cruel light of day, accentuates my age…

The Sunday that marked a week after I had met Mr. Man was a full moon. The day before when I invited him over was the day I opted to jump off the cliff I had been standing on the edge of, departing from the graceful moral code that governs my consciousness. This bizarre moon must have contributed to the gravitational pull Mr. Man caught me in and the events that set my world askew. My physical body took over knowing that all I had to do was say the word and in quick response he would jump to his feet, then dive into my body like an oasis in the middle of a 100-mile radius in the driest season of the high desert.

Sometimes I wish I did not have such an obsession that insist that I analyse everything that I do and torture myself by insisting on being so accountable for my actions. In truth, my actions don’t always make sense, but I can make the choice to avoid the torture often results from misguided choices. Often my actions suggest that I love to tango around the fire, yet somehow avoid the precautions that would prevent me from even minor burns. On the other hand, I need to spare myself from labeling my choices misguided. By some means, the most liberating conclusion is knowing that I can never implicitly trust myself. There are also time when I know I can’t trust myself in any way or to any degree. 

#menopause #farsightedFebruary of this particular year held a special significance. January had been an emotional upheaval. I went mad on many levels and I paid the price with my sanity. Christella has often called our collective attention to “weird energy in the air,” as she is even more sensitive to that which can’t be seen. During January, she repeated this sentiment often. My birthday happens to occur in January and without fail I can count on my family to rise to the occasion and provide an escape. 

This break from my own independent life can take on many forms from distracting me with family sanity and making me appreciate my autonomy to my sister doting over me and my niece just being#menopause #severedepression #crisis #grief #mortality herself which in itself is a cure. I tried to host party with my friends and even posted it on Facebook with not a single RSVP and nothing but groans from the 3 of my fab4 that I can always count on to be there for me when I discussed celebrating at our New Year’s Eve show. My family also did not accommodate a birthday celebration as my sister was suffering the flu.

The monumental pain, paramount to my mental state, was subtle the out-of-nowhere-reappearance, on the internet, of Mr. Wonderful, though Facebook pages were still gone. His cruelty towards me and my complete lack of compassion or acknowledgement of my pain of losing him, left me so hurt, I was making regular trips to the local crisis center. A wonderful, very young, local musician created an event for January birthdays that provided a beautiful entry back to stability. The entire evening was the magical wonder typical of Joshua Tree. Galaxy loved the music and the energy of the event and as always everyone loved him.

While Febuary represented a fresh start and a celebration of friendship and community, I was still shocked, grieving, and heart broken over Mr. Wonderful.

#cougar #Mrs.Robinson #attraction #21 #lust
….my resolve to not be involved with this young man was torn down the moment the palm of his had touched my knee…
#photocollage #diva #Mrs.Robinson #cougar #image #fantasy
Even in the cruel light of day, I could imagine him touching me…

Mr. Man  seated himself on my pointless ornamental ranch style fence, as I took a moment to catch up with my neighbor, who happened to notice him and pointed him out suspiciously. This was a reminder of how obvious it was that he was out of place at my house and in my presence. The casual observer could easily see me as a mature single woman home owner and cast him as an invasive intruder from the damage to his car to his lack of a clean shave or haircut. Mr. Man and I had no more in common then a bird and a fish, yet by a bizarre turn in the cosmic wheel, we were drawn to one another and able to communicate around the vast generation gaps in a unique manner. Mr. Man and I had no more in common then a bird and a fish, yet we’re drawn to one another and able to communicate around the gaps in a unique manner. I had about as much use for him as a fish would a bicycle, but something made me want him near me. Whatever was transpiring and all mutual desires would have to look misshapen to anyone on the outside.

affair, cougar, confusion, temptation, lust, attraction
He stroked my hand with his thumb, periodically…..he traced the contures of my face with his fingertips of his fully developed hand….

As I walked up to him I noticed his prosthetic leg in the light of the afternoon sun, the metallic subtly glistening. I had not asked him
what had happened that he was missing a leg, just as I hadn’t asked about his half arm and half hand. On this bright sunny afternoon, his deformities were more obvious than in the darkness under which we met.

He stood up, in his own unique crooked manner, as I approached him and I tugged his blanket jacket gently as I invited him to see my backyard. The cruel light of day, stood as a beacon as the sky was clear, no clouds to block even a single ray of sun. Every ray of sun would illuminate everything it touched. His high school looking youth was not only out in the open, it was

cougar, affair, lust, infatuation, generation
..with his words, I wasn’t sure if he wanted to be in bed with me, or navigate a future encounter….

highlighted by the rays of the sun. His skin had not a single crevice other than subtle evidence of clearing acne, blinding me with the full reality of his youth. I wondered if this same sun, in all her glory, was illuminating the lines in my face in the same blinding manner. There was not a translucent cloak of night creating a magical effect in unison with the pastels and sparkles in my eye makeup, bringing forward a distracting touch of gold in my hazel eyes. As it happened, I was fully raw and exposed, no makeup and full sun exposing every reality before his pensive green eyes.

#cougar #glamourphoto #mrs.robinson #cleavage #phototext #fantasy
I struggle to catch my breath as his graphic words rushed through me…

As I gave him the tour of my back yard I kept my eyes wide open to the visual image of him in the bright sun, standing on one leg against the backdrop of my yard art and equally youthful native plant revival. He stood on the downslope of the edge of my backyard as I stood just above him making me as tall as my high heels had the night I met him. (on level ground, he was still around 5’3” to my 5’7.” Behind him several baby desert willows standing only a few inches tall, either propagated by me or by volunteer seeds. The desert willow I had planted around two years prior was about his height. Other juveniles included my sharp prickly cat’s claw acacia, started from seed, probably as tall as tall as his chest, that had several years ahead before it fills out into a bushel and even more years before forming into a tree. The California buckwheat that I started from seed doubling in size every six months producing flowers was still not a full bushel, but still a drastically larger than the sprout from the tiny seed that volunteered.

Everything in my yard was juvenile and not fully developed. Native plants meant to require almost no water are not yet established

#MojaveAsh-ThroatedFly-catcher #JoshuaTree #nativebirds, #nesting #wildlifehabitat #animallove
“Each time I posted any animal photos, he was always the first to “like.”

enough to go too long without water and many young trees need a special deep watering system. This fragile young man, with body parts not fully developed, was standing in my yard that began as nothing but dirt and weeds.

The backdrop behind this young man was my yard filled with plant life, also not fully developed, delicate, and in need of special care. More than anything his youth was surreal in the path of the luminous rays of the sun, yet at the same time we were alone in my home with the world on the outside. The inappropriate nature of being intimate with a man of consenting age, yet still too young, was not the only concern I had in my mind. The night we met he had fallen for me so quick and intense. He was swept away and came on so strong. I was not taking this pending encounter seriously or looking to him for a long-term relationship, so I felt obligated to be clear about this before he became too invested. Like my native revival garden, I saw him as fragile, emotionally and physically and my most abiding principle is not committing any action that would harm another person. After my home garden tour, I brought him

cougar, Mrs. Robinson Iconic leg, abstract photo collage, lust, desire, obsession, infatuation, affair, sex, older woman, 21
As the desert night darkened the room, he stared down at me……

into the back room where in preparation for our visit I put pillows and a bean bag chair set up with my television and  “The Graduate” cued. He made himself comfortable which included removing his prosthetic. As he slipped his metallic appendage off I touch his half thigh where it was connected with the prosthetic and said, “what happened here?” He told me about his birth defect, which gave me the full picture of his unusual anatomy, not fully developed in utero. His amputated leg had not fully developed in utero thus he had no bones or muscle mass. His mother was confronted with the decision to have it amputated or have him grow up in a wheelchair. He remarked that he was grateful for her decision. As he spoke of his birth defect, I found myself deep in intense thoughts about his

#MojaveAshThroatedFly-catcher #JoshuaTree #nightsky #romanticencounter #CaliforniaHi-Desert #relationshipdoubts #love #love'suncertainty #fear
original photo by Candice Silsby

mother relating to her, reminding me that although I was in intimate social proximity with her son, she was the one close to my age and sharing my stage of life. I thought of what it must have been like to make an obvious, yet invasive decision about her infant son. I would have done exactly as she, though it would not have been easy to put my delicate baby through an amputation procedure, inevitably involving anesthesia. While thinking of his mother, I was also looking into his eyes, hearing his words, and a warm response towards him. I was enjoying Mr. Man as a person way beyond what I expected. My only expectation involved an energetic, long-lasting sexual experience distinguished by his youth and especially by his unusual anatomy. Incidentally, as we settled into the comfort of my designated movie watching activity he mentioned, as casual as a comment on the weather, that he was moving to San Diego the following Thursday. His explanation was simply that San Diego offered more employment options than our High Desert. In my relief of being free of any long-term expectation from him, I ignored the fact that suddenly there was an obvious inconsistency with all the devoted promises he made to me, the night we met and even the day before. None of these overtures promising to weed my yard, clean my home, help me repair my sink, and replace my water heater among others, were even feasible given that he was leaving in a matter of days. The fleeting quality of being in the early 20s stage of life was beginning to unearth my own memories. He leaned into the support of the bean bag placing his designated pillow under his head. What was odd was that he did not position himself close #cougar #Mrs.Robinson #lust #infatuation #21 #menopause #singlewomanover40enough to touch me, despite his triumph of having me alone, in such close and even sexually suggestive proximity. The story of his disfigured body and his presence in general was adding warmth back inside my body, reversing the tremendous effort I had made to be stone cold. My body was softened with my heart, keeping a brisk, but steady, pace. I pressed play….

The exciting, suspense, getting hot Cougar In the Hunt Part 8

 The incredibly HOT Ebook also coming soon!! Sign up below #cougar #Mrs.Robinson #sex #lust #singlewomanover40 #menopausefor a reminder email!

As a woman over 40, pushing 50, I have created this blog for the purposed of using my writing skills to create something especially meaningful to women. The best show of appreciation, since this blog is brand new, is feedback, sharing my site with others, and a donation of any amount in that order. Even a small donation, will go a long way to support my gourmet coffee habit
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Cougar in The Hunt Part 6: What’s That You Say Mrs. Robinson?

Continuation of Cougar in the Hunt 5: Cruel Light Of Day

Cougar In the Hunt 6: What’s That You Say Mrs. Robinson

At the time, my mind was opened wide to a new paradigm, when in fact I was descending into a madness I had forgotten

#menopauseandsexuality #photocollage #cougar #maturity #antipatingoldage
The intense warmth of the cruel light of day, accentuates my age…

existed. My sense of adventure has not subsided with age which accounts for so many of my greatest joys, though this same spirit gets me into trouble, creating occasional sorrows.
I let him know, via text message, about my friends branding me as “Mrs. Robinson,” and as I suspected he had not seen or heard of “The Graduate.”
“You will have to show me this film.” Again, even though it was a text message, somehow his eager hope resonated though in the dry desert air. Before long, I was feeding his hope an entire three course gourmet meal. I admit the hypnotic power I had over this young man was exhilarating to all of my senses, casting out all sensibility.
At the time, my mind was opened wide to a new paradigm, when in fact I was descending into a madness I had forgotten existed. My sense of adventure has not subsided with age which accounts for so many of my greatest joys, though this same spirit gets me into trouble, creating occasional sorrows.
I let him know, via text message, about my friends branding me as “Mrs. Robinson,” and as I suspected he had not seen or heard of “The Graduate.”
#cougar #Mrs.Robinson #lust #physicalattraction #desire #21 #menopauseandsexuality #sexandmenopause #sexoilformenopausewomen“You will have to show me this film.” Again, even though it was a text message, somehow his eager hope resonated though in the dry desert air. Before long, I was feeding his hope an entire three course gourmet meal. I admit the hypnotic power I had over this young man was exhilarating to all of my senses, casting out all sensibility.

“I own a copy of it. Why don’t you come over here to watch it with me?”
Text messages may be impersonal, but his reaction as he told me he was available anytime, any day, whenever and whatever I wanted was clear and somehow swept through me.
For purposes of good measure I warned him of the shocking disaster my home is, due to physical disability and jumping through hoops for welfare assistance.
“If your house was a landfill, it would never change how I see you…” He sent a couple additional text messages with bloated overtures about helping me around my house, as he had done the night I met him. I didn’t take these gestures seriously, but I did realize that deep down I really wished that he was telling the truth or at least had honest intentions of committing himself to complete servitude towards me.
The dialogue with myself swirled around my mind and went something like this.photo collage blending portraits, virgin marry pose, vixen pose
Me: What am I doing?
Me2: Don’t worry about it. Just enjoy the ride.
Me: He is only 21; just because he wants me, does this mean I have to lose my better judgement?
Me2: If no one gets hurt where is the harm?
Me: I can’t be serious about a 21-year-old; inevitably he will start to annoy me at some point.
Me2: Be honest, not serious……..I am so tired of being sensible. I need a break from sensible.
This particular dialogue went in circles and it remained in the back of my mind while the front of my mind was busy chasing fruitless distractions. The only place I am able to lose myself was in my work, but I can’t write around the clock, though I have tried.

cougar, affair, lust, infatuation, generation
..with his words, I wasn’t sure if he wanted to be in bed with me, or navigate a future encounter….

I was aware of the thick grey haze cloaking my sensibility. Clearly, I genuinely liked this young man and had no denial of the age gap. I was aware that there was no future, which I now realize was more of a safety net than it was a risk. Above all, I did not need this encounter, but I desired it like a chill desire warmth, a fire yearns for water, like the Eucharist is naturally followed by a sip of wine, like my hot flashes ache for the cool breeze.
The events of the night I met him came to mind and his sharp words of desire pierces through my chest and stomach, longing for a release and so invited him to my home. The agenda included watching “The Graduate,” I would know that I made every effort to discourage him from persisting with his desired conquest.

I was already too far out to sea to fight the rip current pulling me further. The only option was to ride the wave and let surrender to the adrenaline pleasure awaiting me, set to arrive at my front door beckoning for entry like a tomcat following a scent.#Mrs.Robinson #photocollage #cougar #lust #sex #affair #attraction #infatuation #fantasy
That evening I was privileged to a wonderful diversion that served to place my feet on the ground and savor the mystic quality of the desert nights. Magical nights in the desert are plentiful though each has a unique quality. A property with all the odd artistic quality of the high desert had just been purchased, so we all were invited to the house-warming. I brought Finesse there where we met up with the rest of the pack. I candidly told Finesse about the date I had set for the following day. The fun she was having, calling me Mrs. Robinson and Cougar had not lost its novelty. When we discreetly mentioned my plans for the next day to Christella and Trichelle, J.P. Trichelle’s partner surprised us by saying out loud “You are talking about D.D.’s new young boyfriend” We laughed so hard we got stomach cramps and struggled for breath. I could not see with clarity what was ahead, but I could see how open-minded and accepting my friends are. The freedom of the desert was alive and well. While I didn’t see a future with Mr. Man, my friends had welcomed him into our circles and joked about it, indicative of not judging me for the bizarre connection obvious to everyone around.
Galaxy is the first indicator of entering a wonderful place. The property the Lours acquired had so much for the senses to enjoy, with characteristic quirks of the Hi-Desert. Everyone there was in great energetic spirit and there was cleaver yard art all around us. Above all, if Galaxy enjoys an environment, there is no better confirmation that I am exactly where I want to be. Galaxy was greeted by folks familiar to him and as always attracted new acquaintances. His presence made for lively

#vixen #cougar #21 #youngman #affair #infatuation #deception #lust #sex #encounter
Fantasies about the potential adventure of his unusual anatomy would be creeping into my thoughts.
#cougar #glamourphoto #mrs.robinson #cleavage #phototext #fantasy
when I mentioned that I have never been able to take a sexy erotic photo, both ladies took this as a challenge….

conversation and there was live music for him that was pleasing to his rabbit ears. Mr. Man was tickling the back of my mind, but I was still clear and present in each moment. Mr. Man had been eager to meet Galaxy.
One of Galaxy’s many fans said something so golden that we all pondered. She referred to his “good” eye as seeing this world and his blind eye seeing other outer worlds. In this beautiful moment one of the many fabulous people of Joshua Tree gave Galaxy his very own mythology, which gives special insight to the intangible effect he has on people. I was grounded in a way that I needed, yet still lurking in the sky with this magical revelation. It was clear that all events in my life, any direction I take is sanctioned by this beautiful, delicate creature who I can wear on my chest in a baby sling, yet his spirit is that of the infinite galaxy.
My engaging conversations, with so many interesting folks, I had not been well acquainted with prior, caused me to lose sight of my pack altogether. I phoned Trichelle who said they hadn’t been able to find me and to come to J&P for our after hours gathering. The housewarming was winding down so Galaxy and I said our goodbyes and we went to J&Ps.
Living without focal points in the desert, one has to create their own and integrate them into life. This takes considerable effort though our Fab4 is my strongest focal point. This was heavy on my mind this entire evening and I felt an overwhelming contentment. January had been so difficult and unsteady, but I was where I needed to be and I did not have an overwhelming number of troubling questions outside myself, which gave me a content feeling. We took wonderful pictures that give a compelling visual of this paradigm. 
Christella left before Finesse’s friend from the college arrived to join us. I had not met this woman, but apparently she dominates male attention, which Finesse hates and complains about at length. Finesse was used to this attention being solely one on her. I was glad for Christella, the eldest of us, to have left as Finesse’s friend Raquel ended up inspiring a bizarre female on female sexualizing. Trichele had been drinking enough to tear down all inhibitions and could not keep her hands out of Raquel’s significantly large bra. Between this woman and Finesse, I felt like a B cup, even though I am a D. Finesse takes great photos as does Raquel, so when I mentioned that I have never been able to take a sexy erotic photo without looking
goofy and clown like, both ladies took this as a challenge.

#photocollage #diva #Mrs.Robinson #cougar #image #fantasy
I looked great in several photos at forty-eight…….

Challenge attempted and far exceeded even my wild imagination. It was around 1:30 pm and Finesse wanted to send the two best photos to Mr. Man. I didn’t protest given the alcohol still working its way through my bloodstream. Also curious to me was what his reaction would be. She said, as commentary, ‘…I took these …I thought you would like them.’ He responded with a text to Finesse right away. In a circular laugh, she showed the text to me. “Thank you. I DO like these. I LIKE them A LOT.” Our squeals and laughter made me wonder if we had taken a trip back to a sorority or teenage slumber party, but I did care, I was having fun. In the course of about ten minutes Finesse managed to take exotic photos of me where I looked like a woman and not a clown, I looked great in several photos at forty-eight, and said photos were ensuring a restful sleep for a young fella less than half my age. 

#cougar #Mrs.Robinson #attraction #21 #lust
My body was fully cognizant of how his hand briefly making contact with my knee effected me…

I am not sure what being an object of a very young man’s desire was feeding inside me, I could only feel the rush through my body, as I looked at the same site where he and I sat together and how he touched my knee. Swirling through my mind was the profound effect this fleeting moment had on me. A simple placement of his hand created a sudden turn in the tide that swept me into the deep-sea, instead of safely on the shore.

When I woke up the next day, as expected, I found a message from him asking if we were still getting together. He was like a kid on Christmas morning, afraid that maybe Santa skipped his over his house or that his fondest wishes were promised struggling to keep his eyes closed in REM sleep. When I responded with a yes, he went on to tell me how much he was looking forward to coming to my house. My own mental energy was focused on anticipating inevitable physical advances from him. Even if they were merely verbal advances, having me alone, they would be bolder than the hours after we met. There was no doubt in my mind what my body wanted though judgement was confronting me the entire morning.

I prepared a “cozy” spot in a back room of my house that I have been using as a tentative storage area. I brought in a TV with #virtue #faith #wisdom #morals #decorum #woman #maturnity #aspiringtogreatness VCR, bean bag chair and pillows. The signals of a physical intimacy I had just situated shined a beacon of light and I could not help asking myself what I was doing and why was I allowing this to happen? I had to think about what I was setting myself up to encounter. His hopes of a passionate encounter were abundantly clear; I knew what I wanted, but I have also lived long enough to be aware of the reasons why we don’t always get what we want. (Mick Jagger was inspired by this realization he wrote a song) I was also aware that whatever signals were readable in the environment in all respects I had the upper hand, not just because he was helplessly taken by me, but it was also my house.

All through my haptic guest preparations, I felt nervous and excited at the same time. My body was fully cognizant of how his hand briefly making contact with my knee effected me, and in a just a couple of hours both his hands could be touching my entire body by a simple matter of my making this choice. The heavy adrenaline circled through my body like a plane waiting for landing stripe clearance. The movements of my body, the desert weather, and my routine erratic hot flashes made my whole person feel like I had just stepped out of a steam room. I was so drenched by the time I was done, I had to change clothes.

I had set up a hospitable environment for watching a movie and “hanging out.” It was still my home. The decision about where to entertain this guest was intentional and calculated. I did not wish to bring him into the parts of my house I use often and entertain regular visitors. The most telling choice was not bringing him into my bedroom as this would be over an ambiguous line. Whatever happened between us, by some motivation, I made sure not to commingle with my daily life and what is most important to me.

In the midst of all this preparation, a reality regarding my age crept up on me. The reminder came through the sweat of my routine afternoon hot flash. How would sex even be possible? I did not have the essential menopause sex supply. At this point, began imagining myself sending him to Wal-mart, in the heat of passion, scrambling through the aisles, naïve to his given assignment. The picture of a 21-year-old guy fumbling the aisles for menopause sex aides was priceless! I didn’t have time to make the trip myself and I had not answered any of the many questions running through my overwhelmed active mind.

When it came time for his arrival, I busied myself with outdoor chores the way I do when I am expecting company. He sent a text message that he was running late, which gave me more time to reflect on the texting dialogue of the day before.

My face would be seen by him in the cruel light of day, making all signs of age visible. The silver quality of my grey hairs would be illuminated, glistening in the sun’s rays and my the crevices of my wrinkles would not be veiled in the romantically translucent blackened colors of the night. Would he see them? What does this young person see and how does this vision translate into sexual desires? I had no need for the validation, yet the circumstances were fascinating. At 21, I had nothing but an aversion to anyone my age or even 40 or older.

#Mrs.Robinson #cougar #cub #lust

My menopausal circumstances would also come to light and define my age. In our text conversation the day before, when i alluded to the light of day showing my age, he responded with expected naiveté, “age is just a number” I could write pages and speak about all the flaws in this clique. If he doubled his life, it still would not equal mine, yet I was his age once and all the ages after up until the present. I said this often when I was 21, thinking myself enlightened, through the years to follow would prove this false over and over.

He said something wise, which constituted a classic theme. Amid the declarations of my mesmerizing beauty over and above all other women, he said via text “…Maturity is sexy, like you. Immaturity is a burden..” He was right.

Just as he arrived, my neighbor stopped her car in front of my house and since I hadn’t spoken with her in a while, so I made him wait….

Cougar in the Hunt Part 7: Sun to Moon: 

 Ebook pending..

As a woman over 40, pushing 50, I have created this blog for the purposed of using my writing skills to create something especially meaningful to women. The best show of appreciation, since this blog is brand new, is feedback, sharing my site with others, and a donation of any amount in that order. Even a small donation, will go a long way to support my gourmet coffee habit
Introduce yourself!

 

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Cougar In The Hunt 5: Cruel Light of Day

This is the continue story of Cougar in the Hunt Story Part 4 Here’s To You Mrs. Robinson

Cougar in the Hunt: Cruel Light of Day

For many reasons, there are numerous residents who are desperate to leave the desert. Up here, many consider a move down the hill to be a long-term goal, a step up, and an aspiration. If all else fails, these desert residents will descend into madness and are forced to disappear. Those who fall into the category of leaving by means of insanity, often have a bungee around one leg so they can recoil back in case the madness subsides.

affair, cougar, 21, transition, reflection, regret, denial, infatuation, conquest, lust
Anywhere else in the world, a 21-year-old amputee would not just appear out of nowhere….

The high-desert landscape makes it difficult to maintain a sense of boundaries because there are no lines of demarcation. The land, stretches out further than the eye can see to meet the infinite by day and by night. The power of the sky takes on many lives, often in the course of only one day. There is no beginning and no end, no boundaries, no outlines, nothing to define what is so infinite. This impresses and delights visitors; if you don’t live here, the lack of focal points and contour lines is infinite freedom. Cacti notwithstanding, it is possible to run for miles without stopping. For folks who live here, this feels wonderful until the wonder is out of reach, and in the desert that reach can go anywhere or nowhere.

I met Mr. Man on Valentine’s Day, while in January I was descending into madness desperate for an anchor. By February I was recovering from the crisis, making every effort to create imaginary lines of demarcation. The anchor that helps me to stand on such shaky ground is my friendship. Since these same friends may go mad at any time, my constant and only focal point is caring for my bunny and allowing his beauty and splendor to wash over my broken heart.

It is this very spell of the desert and the vast expanse of land and the infinite sky that spills from the natural world into our daily lives. and daily lives. A 21-year-old giving me this kind of attention would never live and thrive, outside the desert, through an entire evening then into the morning and through the next day. Anywhere else in the world, a 21-year-old amputee would not just appear out of nowhere, as my friend’s suitor’s friend. Every twist and turn of events would have dead ended had the evening taken place elsewhere.

photo collage blending portraits, virgin marry pose, vixen pose

Once the dust settled from the drama of Fineness running away for a day, I fully let the cruel light of day fill my home and my person. I had to get these lust filled sensations out of my mind and body. There was no way this would happen. As tempting as it was to be worshiped so poignantly, I had to be responsible and make sure that my secret desires did not prey upon this vulnerable delicate young heart. I had to stand firm in my principles of ensuring that my actions don’t cause harm to others. Even if he was of consenting age I still needed to be responsible, I told myself whenever the temptations crept into my body.

was not tempted by validation, since I know that my looks are not lost as I age. Despite frequent subtle reminders that I am no longer 20, I never pretend I am still 20. When I look through photos of myself in my early 20s all I see is clueless abandon, whereas the vision I now see in the mirror is the same beauty but with conviction, certainly, and experience. The image of the present has far more appeal.

Despite my convictions, the passion in his pursuit was seared in my mind and transforming into fantasies that in the cruel light of day were easy to dodge. Escape was not so easy at night, when the world goes quiet, as outer forces take over and erotically dance in my head, like artistic avant guard porn. Curiosity was doing its part and drawing in my sense of adventure and desire to try something new.

At the same time, I had to be strong and able to dissuade him since not only was I decades older, the gap between the stage of life at  21 and at 48 is too wide. There is nothing similar about these life stages. Had he been 31 and I 58, I wouldn’t have jumped into intimacy immediately as he wanted, though I would not have dismissed the idea. Even though he was not real sophisticated or educated, he had quickness that compelled me. I imagined his negotiating my explanations for rejecting him, which had the potential to wear me down to submission.

I sent him a text message that read something like “…I apologize for being caught off guard the other night; I need to let you know that there is no way you and I are going to become involved and I was back into a corner with your presumption of physical intimacy.” It was harsh, which as it turns out, did not work in my favor. After I sent it, I worried that I may have been too harsh.

He responded minutes later with something like “…I really do appreciate your honesty” Mmmm, I didn’t expect a mature response. I sent a text message back with a reference to seeing clearly in “the cruel light of day.” and he answered back with a yes Ma’am.

#vixen #cougar #21 #youngman #affair #infatuation #deception #lust #sex #encounter
Fantasies about the potential adventure of his unusual anatomy would be creeping into my thoughts.

While I reinvented the Dear john letter in a text, I was not able to make this strange attraction go away as I had expected. After rejecting him with brutal poignant honesty, he was still on my mind. Fantasies about the potential adventure of his unusual anatomy would be creeping into my thoughts. It didn’t seem like he was looking for a surrogate mother since he talked about her in a way that indicated a positive relationship. It was clear that the two of us had nothing in common, yet the differences were interesting to me. I knew better than to look to him for any kind of serious long-term, but the idea of a short-lived fling invaded my reasoning. The idea of a whole new anatomical sex experience was an overwhelming temptation fueled by my sense of adventure and lack of inhibitions.

I was sure I had been too harsh and reasoned that I didn’t need to cast him out entirely and why not keep the lines of communication open? So I reached out and extended an open-ended invitation for coffee at my place for which he said he would contact me if he was in my area. He responded by saying that if he was in my part of town he would let me know.

A few days later, I found myself in dialogue with him via text message. I exchanged texts with him while working, on and off for an entire day. I asked myself why I was doing this and did not have an answer to give myself. I was still on the edge of the cliff and the ground was still crumbling. 

#cougar #Mrs.Robinson #lust #infatuated21yearold #affair
The subtle bit of hope I gave him, set him on a fast paced high-speed chase…..

During our text dialogue, there was no attempt on his part at flirtation, suggestion, or trying to negotiate the boundary I put in place. I wondered if I was giving him mixed messages, since my communication was inconsistent and my ambivalence was touching every part of me.

After several hours of this back and forth typing, he put a toe in the water to engage me in flirtation, though it was after I accidentally gave him an opening. I referred to myself as a blunt, straightforward vixen, not afraid to speak her mind, for which he responded

“WOW, we are going to get along REALLY well” The hopeful beta test quality of this message touched me, even if it was a bit presumptuous.

“I am starting to be open to this possibility” He must have seen this as a neon green light indicator that convinced him that he would get his way. It is amazing what one believes when they really want something, as I thought I was being vague.

“Why the change of heart?” I wasn’t aware that I had changed my heart, but I didn’t discourage his assumption or hope. I was honestly tired of fighting him and what my body wanted.

“Well, I needed a chance to think it over, as I explained I strive not to be impetuous.” I listed a few reasons, one text for each including “Heart being the operative word, my heart is very broken” He responded with his version of wisdom, but in doing so he simply showed his age and lack of experience. My last reason was “The cardinal rule of my spirituality is not to harm anyone.” This turned into a discussion about pagan philosophy, or more accurately described, my explaining witchcraft, debunking all of his prior misconceptions. His willingness to learn from me was endearing.

The subtle bit of hope I gave him, set him on a fast paced high-speed chase for me all via text messages. Everything we texted about came back to overt flirtation from him or an opportunity gush about how incredibly beautiful I am. He was faster than a juvenile jack rabbit and as such he outran any discretion I may have had left somewhere in my mind, where I was still engaged in a faint dialogue.

Cougar in the Hunt Part 6: What’s That You Say Mrs. Robinson

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