Cougar in The Hunt Part 6: What’s That You Say Mrs. Robinson?

Continuation of Cougar in the Hunt 5: Cruel Light Of Day

Cougar In the Hunt 6: What’s That You Say Mrs. Robinson

At the time, my mind was opened wide to a new paradigm, when in fact I was descending into a madness I had forgotten

#menopauseandsexuality #photocollage #cougar #maturity #antipatingoldage
The intense warmth of the cruel light of day, accentuates my age…

existed. My sense of adventure has not subsided with age which accounts for so many of my greatest joys, though this same spirit gets me into trouble, creating occasional sorrows.
I let him know, via text message, about my friends branding me as “Mrs. Robinson,” and as I suspected he had not seen or heard of “The Graduate.”
“You will have to show me this film.” Again, even though it was a text message, somehow his eager hope resonated though in the dry desert air. Before long, I was feeding his hope an entire three course gourmet meal. I admit the hypnotic power I had over this young man was exhilarating to all of my senses, casting out all sensibility.
At the time, my mind was opened wide to a new paradigm, when in fact I was descending into a madness I had forgotten existed. My sense of adventure has not subsided with age which accounts for so many of my greatest joys, though this same spirit gets me into trouble, creating occasional sorrows.
I let him know, via text message, about my friends branding me as “Mrs. Robinson,” and as I suspected he had not seen or heard of “The Graduate.”
#cougar #Mrs.Robinson #lust #physicalattraction #desire #21 #menopauseandsexuality #sexandmenopause #sexoilformenopausewomen“You will have to show me this film.” Again, even though it was a text message, somehow his eager hope resonated though in the dry desert air. Before long, I was feeding his hope an entire three course gourmet meal. I admit the hypnotic power I had over this young man was exhilarating to all of my senses, casting out all sensibility.

“I own a copy of it. Why don’t you come over here to watch it with me?”
Text messages may be impersonal, but his reaction as he told me he was available anytime, any day, whenever and whatever I wanted was clear and somehow swept through me.
For purposes of good measure I warned him of the shocking disaster my home is, due to physical disability and jumping through hoops for welfare assistance.
“If your house was a landfill, it would never change how I see you…” He sent a couple additional text messages with bloated overtures about helping me around my house, as he had done the night I met him. I didn’t take these gestures seriously, but I did realize that deep down I really wished that he was telling the truth or at least had honest intentions of committing himself to complete servitude towards me.
The dialogue with myself swirled around my mind and went something like this.photo collage blending portraits, virgin marry pose, vixen pose
Me: What am I doing?
Me2: Don’t worry about it. Just enjoy the ride.
Me: He is only 21; just because he wants me, does this mean I have to lose my better judgement?
Me2: If no one gets hurt where is the harm?
Me: I can’t be serious about a 21-year-old; inevitably he will start to annoy me at some point.
Me2: Be honest, not serious……..I am so tired of being sensible. I need a break from sensible.
This particular dialogue went in circles and it remained in the back of my mind while the front of my mind was busy chasing fruitless distractions. The only place I am able to lose myself was in my work, but I can’t write around the clock, though I have tried.

cougar, affair, lust, infatuation, generation
..with his words, I wasn’t sure if he wanted to be in bed with me, or navigate a future encounter….

I was aware of the thick grey haze cloaking my sensibility. Clearly, I genuinely liked this young man and had no denial of the age gap. I was aware that there was no future, which I now realize was more of a safety net than it was a risk. Above all, I did not need this encounter, but I desired it like a chill desire warmth, a fire yearns for water, like the Eucharist is naturally followed by a sip of wine, like my hot flashes ache for the cool breeze.
The events of the night I met him came to mind and his sharp words of desire pierces through my chest and stomach, longing for a release and so invited him to my home. The agenda included watching “The Graduate,” I would know that I made every effort to discourage him from persisting with his desired conquest.

I was already too far out to sea to fight the rip current pulling me further. The only option was to ride the wave and let surrender to the adrenaline pleasure awaiting me, set to arrive at my front door beckoning for entry like a tomcat following a scent.#Mrs.Robinson #photocollage #cougar #lust #sex #affair #attraction #infatuation #fantasy
That evening I was privileged to a wonderful diversion that served to place my feet on the ground and savor the mystic quality of the desert nights. Magical nights in the desert are plentiful though each has a unique quality. A property with all the odd artistic quality of the high desert had just been purchased, so we all were invited to the house-warming. I brought Finesse there where we met up with the rest of the pack. I candidly told Finesse about the date I had set for the following day. The fun she was having, calling me Mrs. Robinson and Cougar had not lost its novelty. When we discreetly mentioned my plans for the next day to Christella and Trichelle, J.P. Trichelle’s partner surprised us by saying out loud “You are talking about D.D.’s new young boyfriend” We laughed so hard we got stomach cramps and struggled for breath. I could not see with clarity what was ahead, but I could see how open-minded and accepting my friends are. The freedom of the desert was alive and well. While I didn’t see a future with Mr. Man, my friends had welcomed him into our circles and joked about it, indicative of not judging me for the bizarre connection obvious to everyone around.
Galaxy is the first indicator of entering a wonderful place. The property the Lours acquired had so much for the senses to enjoy, with characteristic quirks of the Hi-Desert. Everyone there was in great energetic spirit and there was cleaver yard art all around us. Above all, if Galaxy enjoys an environment, there is no better confirmation that I am exactly where I want to be. Galaxy was greeted by folks familiar to him and as always attracted new acquaintances. His presence made for lively

#vixen #cougar #21 #youngman #affair #infatuation #deception #lust #sex #encounter
Fantasies about the potential adventure of his unusual anatomy would be creeping into my thoughts.
#cougar #glamourphoto #mrs.robinson #cleavage #phototext #fantasy
when I mentioned that I have never been able to take a sexy erotic photo, both ladies took this as a challenge….

conversation and there was live music for him that was pleasing to his rabbit ears. Mr. Man was tickling the back of my mind, but I was still clear and present in each moment. Mr. Man had been eager to meet Galaxy.
One of Galaxy’s many fans said something so golden that we all pondered. She referred to his “good” eye as seeing this world and his blind eye seeing other outer worlds. In this beautiful moment one of the many fabulous people of Joshua Tree gave Galaxy his very own mythology, which gives special insight to the intangible effect he has on people. I was grounded in a way that I needed, yet still lurking in the sky with this magical revelation. It was clear that all events in my life, any direction I take is sanctioned by this beautiful, delicate creature who I can wear on my chest in a baby sling, yet his spirit is that of the infinite galaxy.
My engaging conversations, with so many interesting folks, I had not been well acquainted with prior, caused me to lose sight of my pack altogether. I phoned Trichelle who said they hadn’t been able to find me and to come to J&P for our after hours gathering. The housewarming was winding down so Galaxy and I said our goodbyes and we went to J&Ps.
Living without focal points in the desert, one has to create their own and integrate them into life. This takes considerable effort though our Fab4 is my strongest focal point. This was heavy on my mind this entire evening and I felt an overwhelming contentment. January had been so difficult and unsteady, but I was where I needed to be and I did not have an overwhelming number of troubling questions outside myself, which gave me a content feeling. We took wonderful pictures that give a compelling visual of this paradigm. 
Christella left before Finesse’s friend from the college arrived to join us. I had not met this woman, but apparently she dominates male attention, which Finesse hates and complains about at length. Finesse was used to this attention being solely one on her. I was glad for Christella, the eldest of us, to have left as Finesse’s friend Raquel ended up inspiring a bizarre female on female sexualizing. Trichele had been drinking enough to tear down all inhibitions and could not keep her hands out of Raquel’s significantly large bra. Between this woman and Finesse, I felt like a B cup, even though I am a D. Finesse takes great photos as does Raquel, so when I mentioned that I have never been able to take a sexy erotic photo without looking
goofy and clown like, both ladies took this as a challenge.

#photocollage #diva #Mrs.Robinson #cougar #image #fantasy
I looked great in several photos at forty-eight…….

Challenge attempted and far exceeded even my wild imagination. It was around 1:30 pm and Finesse wanted to send the two best photos to Mr. Man. I didn’t protest given the alcohol still working its way through my bloodstream. Also curious to me was what his reaction would be. She said, as commentary, ‘…I took these …I thought you would like them.’ He responded with a text to Finesse right away. In a circular laugh, she showed the text to me. “Thank you. I DO like these. I LIKE them A LOT.” Our squeals and laughter made me wonder if we had taken a trip back to a sorority or teenage slumber party, but I did care, I was having fun. In the course of about ten minutes Finesse managed to take exotic photos of me where I looked like a woman and not a clown, I looked great in several photos at forty-eight, and said photos were ensuring a restful sleep for a young fella less than half my age. 

#cougar #Mrs.Robinson #attraction #21 #lust
My body was fully cognizant of how his hand briefly making contact with my knee effected me…

I am not sure what being an object of a very young man’s desire was feeding inside me, I could only feel the rush through my body, as I looked at the same site where he and I sat together and how he touched my knee. Swirling through my mind was the profound effect this fleeting moment had on me. A simple placement of his hand created a sudden turn in the tide that swept me into the deep-sea, instead of safely on the shore.

When I woke up the next day, as expected, I found a message from him asking if we were still getting together. He was like a kid on Christmas morning, afraid that maybe Santa skipped his over his house or that his fondest wishes were promised struggling to keep his eyes closed in REM sleep. When I responded with a yes, he went on to tell me how much he was looking forward to coming to my house. My own mental energy was focused on anticipating inevitable physical advances from him. Even if they were merely verbal advances, having me alone, they would be bolder than the hours after we met. There was no doubt in my mind what my body wanted though judgement was confronting me the entire morning.

I prepared a “cozy” spot in a back room of my house that I have been using as a tentative storage area. I brought in a TV with #virtue #faith #wisdom #morals #decorum #woman #maturnity #aspiringtogreatness VCR, bean bag chair and pillows. The signals of a physical intimacy I had just situated shined a beacon of light and I could not help asking myself what I was doing and why was I allowing this to happen? I had to think about what I was setting myself up to encounter. His hopes of a passionate encounter were abundantly clear; I knew what I wanted, but I have also lived long enough to be aware of the reasons why we don’t always get what we want. (Mick Jagger was inspired by this realization he wrote a song) I was also aware that whatever signals were readable in the environment in all respects I had the upper hand, not just because he was helplessly taken by me, but it was also my house.

All through my haptic guest preparations, I felt nervous and excited at the same time. My body was fully cognizant of how his hand briefly making contact with my knee effected me, and in a just a couple of hours both his hands could be touching my entire body by a simple matter of my making this choice. The heavy adrenaline circled through my body like a plane waiting for landing stripe clearance. The movements of my body, the desert weather, and my routine erratic hot flashes made my whole person feel like I had just stepped out of a steam room. I was so drenched by the time I was done, I had to change clothes.

I had set up a hospitable environment for watching a movie and “hanging out.” It was still my home. The decision about where to entertain this guest was intentional and calculated. I did not wish to bring him into the parts of my house I use often and entertain regular visitors. The most telling choice was not bringing him into my bedroom as this would be over an ambiguous line. Whatever happened between us, by some motivation, I made sure not to commingle with my daily life and what is most important to me.

In the midst of all this preparation, a reality regarding my age crept up on me. The reminder came through the sweat of my routine afternoon hot flash. How would sex even be possible? I did not have the essential menopause sex supply. At this point, began imagining myself sending him to Wal-mart, in the heat of passion, scrambling through the aisles, naïve to his given assignment. The picture of a 21-year-old guy fumbling the aisles for menopause sex aides was priceless! I didn’t have time to make the trip myself and I had not answered any of the many questions running through my overwhelmed active mind.

When it came time for his arrival, I busied myself with outdoor chores the way I do when I am expecting company. He sent a text message that he was running late, which gave me more time to reflect on the texting dialogue of the day before.

My face would be seen by him in the cruel light of day, making all signs of age visible. The silver quality of my grey hairs would be illuminated, glistening in the sun’s rays and my the crevices of my wrinkles would not be veiled in the romantically translucent blackened colors of the night. Would he see them? What does this young person see and how does this vision translate into sexual desires? I had no need for the validation, yet the circumstances were fascinating. At 21, I had nothing but an aversion to anyone my age or even 40 or older.

#Mrs.Robinson #cougar #cub #lust

My menopausal circumstances would also come to light and define my age. In our text conversation the day before, when i alluded to the light of day showing my age, he responded with expected naiveté, “age is just a number” I could write pages and speak about all the flaws in this clique. If he doubled his life, it still would not equal mine, yet I was his age once and all the ages after up until the present. I said this often when I was 21, thinking myself enlightened, through the years to follow would prove this false over and over.

He said something wise, which constituted a classic theme. Amid the declarations of my mesmerizing beauty over and above all other women, he said via text “…Maturity is sexy, like you. Immaturity is a burden..” He was right.

Just as he arrived, my neighbor stopped her car in front of my house and since I hadn’t spoken with her in a while, so I made him wait….

Cougar in the Hunt Part 7: Sun to Moon: 

 Ebook pending..

As a woman over 40, pushing 50, I have created this blog for the purposed of using my writing skills to create something especially meaningful to women. The best show of appreciation, since this blog is brand new, is feedback, sharing my site with others, and a donation of any amount in that order. Even a small donation, will go a long way to support my gourmet coffee habit
Introduce yourself!

 

Beauty Bay
Shop For Clothing Now To Help Rescue Animals!

Read more "Cougar in The Hunt Part 6: What’s That You Say Mrs. Robinson?"

Temperance & The Devil Part 5: Galaxy Spell

This is the continuing story of Temperance and the Devil Part 4

Temperance and the Devil 5: Galaxy Spell Part 1

The hi-desert has known vortices, physical locations with intense energy. These vortices are not far from my house or my normal routine. The hi-desert cast a spell all its own; a simple evening outdoors, watching the bats come out to catch insects and grace the already spectacular sky has magical mystical powers. A local concert inspires and spontaneous love fests with old friends, folks from out-of-town, and new residents. Mr. Wonderful cast a spell while being spell-bound. The thoughtful, logical, and reasonable speech I carefully sketched out in my head disintegrated in the desert’s night air, overpowering my iron will. His words washed over me like the many starry nights I surrendered my will to and so was my surrender to his hopeful question.

passion, coupling, new relationship, love, the universe, starry night, astronomy, clear night, high desert, Joshua tree, native bird nest
.…I was fast ascending into one of many unknown outer worlds…..
dating attraction, first kiss, love spell
Mr. Wonderful cast a spell while being spell-bound.


“Can I kiss you?” 

I was supposed to have an answer, but I was unable to speechless. I was also supposed to have a speech, but my oration skills were silenced in the spell of the desert night and she coaxed me back to my heart. His tone had that same kid-on christmas-morning blissfully hoping for the shiny new bike. There was also an exhaustion reverberating through his words, begging me to give in to him. All I could do was look down and give way to the weight of my body being swept away by every force around me; his hopeful words, the beautiful, magical night, his kindness, his gentle heart, his gentle soul, and the part of my heart that had been dormant for five-year that I wasn’t sure it still existed….

My tongue was momentarily disabled to answer his gallant request, as it was longing to wrap around his. Somehow, without a word from me, he had the answer he needed. Before I fell into a faint, his arms wrapped around me, as his lips procured perfect contact with mine and once again I was standing tall. In the back of my mind, I cursed the incredible sensations swimming through my body like tadpoles traveling upstream, I was having, since I had been determined to slow down the passion between us. The rest of my mind, my heart, my soul, and my fully engaged body surrendering and even igniting our passion which was escalating as we kissed. The smooth fabric of his shirt tickled my palms, as my hands traveled up his back as I gripped tighter.

I paused to take a breath and with abandon, his sweet lips made contact with the side of my neck. At this point, I didn’t want to stop and my better judgement was eclipsed by the magic of these moments gently taking us on a trip through the cosmos, even if our feet had been touching the ground. I renewed contact with his mouth and tongue leaning my head to the side that is comfortable for my neck pain.

Still holding each other tight, we once again stopped for air as if the intensity would trap us in a desert vortex. I momentarily lost my balance and as he gently held my waist to steady my stance as he

#photocollage #relationships #love #goodnightkiss #desertsky #high-desert
The wonder of this moment was too precious to squander….

said, “Are you okay?” for which I responded, “Yes, it has been a long time.” Given his circumstances of which I was cautiously aware, he had a strange response, “Me too.” As beautiful as I felt, his whispering declaration, “me too” brought a small portion my sensibilities back to the ground. He was 58, so how could he believe that six months constituted a long-time? The wonder of this moment was too precious to squander while at the same time, my mind had much to process. We proceeded to make-out, for a while longer, in between tight embraces. He gripped my bottom, briefly, and did the same with my breast above, as if he was performing a finale to a show with a cliffhanger. He refrained from sliding his hand under my clothes since doing this would have made it impossible to stop. His struggle to stay in control was as endearing and sexy as his heart and soul.

I am not sure if we said goodnight or if it was implied, but as he selected the right key to unlock the car with both hands, he revealed the tremor his entire body was experiencing. In my moment of flattery, I said, “Please let me know you made it home safe” A subtle wave of confusion washed over me, as I wondered in my mind what was next. My impulse to analyse and discuss what had just happened made a momentary trip through my mind, but my heart was savoring the precious moments we had just shared quieting all impulses to over-think. This was an intense sensation my heart could not sacrifice to logic. I was swimming in the crystalline waters of love, but the bread crumbs and stones I dropped, to find my way back, were swept out to sea beyond my grasp.

Temperance & The Devil 6: Ambivalence

introduce yourself and link to your site!

House rabbits, animal wisdom, spirit animals
When my mind races too fast, loving and caring for Galaxy eases my rapid heart beat….

As a woman over 40, pushing 50, have created this blog for the purposed of using my writing skills to create something especially meaningful to women. The best show of appreciation, since this blog is brand new, is feedback, sharing my site with others, and a donation of any amount in that order. Even a small donation, will go a long way to support my gourmet coffee habit.
Salcura Natural Skin Therapy - Free Next Day Delivery on all Orders over £50

Read more "Temperance & The Devil Part 5: Galaxy Spell"

Cougar In The Hunt 5: Cruel Light of Day

This is the continue story of Cougar in the Hunt Story Part 4 Here’s To You Mrs. Robinson

Cougar in the Hunt: Cruel Light of Day

For many reasons, there are numerous residents who are desperate to leave the desert. Up here, many consider a move down the hill to be a long-term goal, a step up, and an aspiration. If all else fails, these desert residents will descend into madness and are forced to disappear. Those who fall into the category of leaving by means of insanity, often have a bungee around one leg so they can recoil back in case the madness subsides.

affair, cougar, 21, transition, reflection, regret, denial, infatuation, conquest, lust
Anywhere else in the world, a 21-year-old amputee would not just appear out of nowhere….

The high-desert landscape makes it difficult to maintain a sense of boundaries because there are no lines of demarcation. The land, stretches out further than the eye can see to meet the infinite by day and by night. The power of the sky takes on many lives, often in the course of only one day. There is no beginning and no end, no boundaries, no outlines, nothing to define what is so infinite. This impresses and delights visitors; if you don’t live here, the lack of focal points and contour lines is infinite freedom. Cacti notwithstanding, it is possible to run for miles without stopping. For folks who live here, this feels wonderful until the wonder is out of reach, and in the desert that reach can go anywhere or nowhere.

I met Mr. Man on Valentine’s Day, while in January I was descending into madness desperate for an anchor. By February I was recovering from the crisis, making every effort to create imaginary lines of demarcation. The anchor that helps me to stand on such shaky ground is my friendship. Since these same friends may go mad at any time, my constant and only focal point is caring for my bunny and allowing his beauty and splendor to wash over my broken heart.

It is this very spell of the desert and the vast expanse of land and the infinite sky that spills from the natural world into our daily lives. and daily lives. A 21-year-old giving me this kind of attention would never live and thrive, outside the desert, through an entire evening then into the morning and through the next day. Anywhere else in the world, a 21-year-old amputee would not just appear out of nowhere, as my friend’s suitor’s friend. Every twist and turn of events would have dead ended had the evening taken place elsewhere.

photo collage blending portraits, virgin marry pose, vixen pose

Once the dust settled from the drama of Fineness running away for a day, I fully let the cruel light of day fill my home and my person. I had to get these lust filled sensations out of my mind and body. There was no way this would happen. As tempting as it was to be worshiped so poignantly, I had to be responsible and make sure that my secret desires did not prey upon this vulnerable delicate young heart. I had to stand firm in my principles of ensuring that my actions don’t cause harm to others. Even if he was of consenting age I still needed to be responsible, I told myself whenever the temptations crept into my body.

was not tempted by validation, since I know that my looks are not lost as I age. Despite frequent subtle reminders that I am no longer 20, I never pretend I am still 20. When I look through photos of myself in my early 20s all I see is clueless abandon, whereas the vision I now see in the mirror is the same beauty but with conviction, certainly, and experience. The image of the present has far more appeal.

Despite my convictions, the passion in his pursuit was seared in my mind and transforming into fantasies that in the cruel light of day were easy to dodge. Escape was not so easy at night, when the world goes quiet, as outer forces take over and erotically dance in my head, like artistic avant guard porn. Curiosity was doing its part and drawing in my sense of adventure and desire to try something new.

At the same time, I had to be strong and able to dissuade him since not only was I decades older, the gap between the stage of life at  21 and at 48 is too wide. There is nothing similar about these life stages. Had he been 31 and I 58, I wouldn’t have jumped into intimacy immediately as he wanted, though I would not have dismissed the idea. Even though he was not real sophisticated or educated, he had quickness that compelled me. I imagined his negotiating my explanations for rejecting him, which had the potential to wear me down to submission.

I sent him a text message that read something like “…I apologize for being caught off guard the other night; I need to let you know that there is no way you and I are going to become involved and I was back into a corner with your presumption of physical intimacy.” It was harsh, which as it turns out, did not work in my favor. After I sent it, I worried that I may have been too harsh.

He responded minutes later with something like “…I really do appreciate your honesty” Mmmm, I didn’t expect a mature response. I sent a text message back with a reference to seeing clearly in “the cruel light of day.” and he answered back with a yes Ma’am.

#vixen #cougar #21 #youngman #affair #infatuation #deception #lust #sex #encounter
Fantasies about the potential adventure of his unusual anatomy would be creeping into my thoughts.

While I reinvented the Dear john letter in a text, I was not able to make this strange attraction go away as I had expected. After rejecting him with brutal poignant honesty, he was still on my mind. Fantasies about the potential adventure of his unusual anatomy would be creeping into my thoughts. It didn’t seem like he was looking for a surrogate mother since he talked about her in a way that indicated a positive relationship. It was clear that the two of us had nothing in common, yet the differences were interesting to me. I knew better than to look to him for any kind of serious long-term, but the idea of a short-lived fling invaded my reasoning. The idea of a whole new anatomical sex experience was an overwhelming temptation fueled by my sense of adventure and lack of inhibitions.

I was sure I had been too harsh and reasoned that I didn’t need to cast him out entirely and why not keep the lines of communication open? So I reached out and extended an open-ended invitation for coffee at my place for which he said he would contact me if he was in my area. He responded by saying that if he was in my part of town he would let me know.

A few days later, I found myself in dialogue with him via text message. I exchanged texts with him while working, on and off for an entire day. I asked myself why I was doing this and did not have an answer to give myself. I was still on the edge of the cliff and the ground was still crumbling. 

#cougar #Mrs.Robinson #lust #infatuated21yearold #affair
The subtle bit of hope I gave him, set him on a fast paced high-speed chase…..

During our text dialogue, there was no attempt on his part at flirtation, suggestion, or trying to negotiate the boundary I put in place. I wondered if I was giving him mixed messages, since my communication was inconsistent and my ambivalence was touching every part of me.

After several hours of this back and forth typing, he put a toe in the water to engage me in flirtation, though it was after I accidentally gave him an opening. I referred to myself as a blunt, straightforward vixen, not afraid to speak her mind, for which he responded

“WOW, we are going to get along REALLY well” The hopeful beta test quality of this message touched me, even if it was a bit presumptuous.

“I am starting to be open to this possibility” He must have seen this as a neon green light indicator that convinced him that he would get his way. It is amazing what one believes when they really want something, as I thought I was being vague.

“Why the change of heart?” I wasn’t aware that I had changed my heart, but I didn’t discourage his assumption or hope. I was honestly tired of fighting him and what my body wanted.

“Well, I needed a chance to think it over, as I explained I strive not to be impetuous.” I listed a few reasons, one text for each including “Heart being the operative word, my heart is very broken” He responded with his version of wisdom, but in doing so he simply showed his age and lack of experience. My last reason was “The cardinal rule of my spirituality is not to harm anyone.” This turned into a discussion about pagan philosophy, or more accurately described, my explaining witchcraft, debunking all of his prior misconceptions. His willingness to learn from me was endearing.

The subtle bit of hope I gave him, set him on a fast paced high-speed chase for me all via text messages. Everything we texted about came back to overt flirtation from him or an opportunity gush about how incredibly beautiful I am. He was faster than a juvenile jack rabbit and as such he outran any discretion I may have had left somewhere in my mind, where I was still engaged in a faint dialogue.

Cougar in the Hunt Part 6: What’s That You Say Mrs. Robinson

As a woman over 40, pushing 50, I have created this blog for the purposed of using my writing skills to create something especially meaningful to women. The best show of appreciation, since this blog is brand new, is feedback, sharing my site with others, and a donation of any amount in that order. Even a small donation, will go a long way to support my gourmet coffee habit
Introduce yourself!

Legend3D, Inc.

Read more "Cougar In The Hunt 5: Cruel Light of Day"

Cougar Part 4: Here’s to You Mrs. Robinson

Continuation of previous post Cougar in the Hunt Part 3: Here’s to You Mrs. Robinson

cougar, lust, Mrs. Robinson leg, 21, older woman, younger man, lust, sex, attraction, one-night-stand, affair
As soon as the words came out, I realized what I had said and when I asked myself why I had made this gesture, I did not have an answer.

I have drawn the fool card so many times in my life; the first tarot card ever drawn on my behalf was the Fool, though it was not the first time I was dealt the fool. The Fool card is not necessarily attributed to the foolish qualities we associate with people who make poor choices or the naiveté understandable in youth. Did I draw the fool card that fateful moment Mr. Man’s hand made contact with my knee? 

It would seem that I did, but at the time I was certain Mr. Man had drawn the fool card. After all, he was hypnotised, taken in by my unintended prowess, exaggerated and romanticized by his lack of life experience. I was so cautious of his natural fool stage of life, afraid of him falling over the cliff, I did not realize I was the one on the edge of the cliff as the true fool.

The cougar mythology was never curious or tempting to me, or my paradigm. I don’t enjoy the company of kids in their early 20s. My ego doesn’t crave validation that I look younger than my age; when I look in the mirror it is clear that age has only created subtle changes, which I attribute only to hereditary, not luck or some magic-potion-cosmetic concoction designed to make money from women afraid to grow old. My attraction to Mr. Man, even mixed with repulsion, was a feeling, and had nothing to do with defying my age. I never feel the need to convince myself that I am like a woman in her early 20s; what I experience is my real biological age. My encounter with Mr. Man revealed an additional curiosity. Why would any mature, accomplished woman want to relive her tumultuous youth?

As the gathering at J&P’s was winding down, from a collective cognizant of the impending dawn, Mr. Man said with a tone of confusion and worry, “Oh no! I just realized something. My car is at the bar!”“Yes, you came in my car and as such I will take you back,” I replied.

“Okay” he responded with relief and I wondered what would make him feel stranded all of a sudden.

I was not going to leave without making sure that Vanessa had a safe ride home. I wasn’t entirely sure if she wanted to go home with Tin-Man, though I did know Tin-Man was determined to take her home with him. I inquired with Tricia, a few times and since I didn’t have enough gas, Tricia said she would make sure Finesse made it back home. As we said goodbye,Tricia let me know that Finesse decided to go home with Tin-Man. The four of us piled into my car, Finesse and Tin-Man in the back seat, Mr. Man and I in the front, me at the wheel, this time around.

As we reached the parking lot, still affected by alcohol, Finesse, Tin-Man, and myself became loud enough for Mr. Man to tell us that we ought to keep our voices down. I immediately said, “You are right, we are too loud and after all it is 4:30 am.”

Cougar Caos
As the sun graced Valentine’s Day morning, I finally fell asleep as my fantasies created a spiral effect in my brain and spread throughout my entire body.

“No, I didn’t mean you,” Mr. Man said, with a tone of worry, at the mere idea that he may have let me think that I had come down from the highest pedestal, so far out of his reach. “It is okay,” I said with no more authority or assurance than he had given me, “…nothing wrong with pointing it out. The two of them are souzed and I am well aware of my gift of projection,” It was clear that to Mr. Man I could do no wrong. The problem with being lifted up on a pedestal is the eventual and inevitable fall.

I gazed over in Mr. Man’s direction, as I began anticipating the pending goodbye, knowing the desires he had made poignantly clear, thereby imagining his pending expectations. As it happened, his physical stance was as unassuming as it had been all evening. There were no schemes to force me to be alone with him in the darkness of predawn. He did not manipulate any situation so that he could pull me aside or steal moments alone with me. The only discussion was the logistics of going to Finesse’s house so they could get her dog and go back to Tin-Man’s place. Much of my mental energy was on Finesse and if it was a good idea for her to be swept away by Tin-Man. Despite my reservations, I was impressed with Tin-Man’s willingness to accommodate Finesse’s dog and again, it made me think of Mr. Wonderful doing the same for my bunny Galaxy, every time we were together. I did have other assurances as to Finesse’s presence of mind during the short car ride from J&P’s house.

In the back of my car, Finesse made it verbally clear to Tin-Man what her physical boundaries would be during their impending sleepover. She systematically listed what they could do together and what was off-limits. I was relieved to hear this, and I also felt a confused frustration coming from Mr. Man in my passenger’s seat. As I turned into the dirt parking lot of the Saloon, I said to Vanessa in a playful stage whisper, “He touched my knee! He touched my knee!” I heard and felt Mr. Man shift quick and sharp in his passenger’s seat, as he said out loud to himself “Now, I am confused.” I never figured out what he meant. Was it possible that he had no ideas that he had touched my knee?

photo collage, cougar, lust, sex, affair, attraction, infatuation, fantasy
I knew I couldn’t trust my mind that was proving unreliable under the intoxicating influence of my reckless body.

When we did say goodbye, he said, “I really had a great time with you
tonight,” as I reached down to hug him. As his arms reached out from his blanket jacket and around my waist I said, “I would invite you over for breakfast, but that is only a couple of hours from now.”

I saw his face shadowed by the darkness, while tinted with the artificial lights around us. I saw longing in his expression, though it could have been his exhaustion. Tin-Man hugged me and in the first serious tone I heard all night, he said “It was so nice to meet you, it was really fun.” As the three of them were about to enter Mr. Man’s car, I said to Finesse, “Can you him my phone number” I felt my arm flex as I pointed in his direction as if there were several choices available and he was the winner. As soon as the words came out, I realized what I had said and when I asked myself why I had made this gesture, I did not have an answer. Whatever I was doing was of my own free will, yet I felt like I was relinquishing control to a force outside of me. I honestly felt like I was under the mysterious spell of the hi-desert breezes whispering subliminal messages in my ear.

affair, cougar, confusion, temptation, lust, attraction
My vivid imagination played like a movie…..

I arrived home just after 5am and my mind was racing about everything that had happened. The tailspin in my mind provided no clarity or answers. I had been touched Mr. Man, in a variety of ways, but this did not change him being young enough to be my offspring. As I settled down to go to sleep, amid text message exchanges checking in with Finesse, I found a text from Mr. Man. He addressed me and announced himself, then said “…I really had a great time with you and I hope we can do it again real soon..” Given the time between our goodbye and this moment, he must have sent this message to me the moment he dropped off Finesse and Tin-Man. Finesse told me later that he had referred to me as “really cool” and asked for my phone number before he drove away from Tin-Man’s apartment. As I looked at his text, my heart spun and the centrifugal forces caused a subtle vibration in my chest that caused my nipples to tingle to the point of feeling a sharp sensation. My finger was on a button, sensitive to the touch, yet I kept it there simply because it felt good.

Knowing I was acting on my own free will, but still feeling as if I was under a bizarre spell, I replied to the text with “me too.” As I tried to fall asleep, I asked myself why I would say this when I was resigned to not give into the attraction that transpired.

cougar, sex, dating, romantic encounter, attraction, lust, infatuation, leg, Mrs. Robinson, photo collage
Not even the crowd, all around me, distilled his penetrating gaze.

Despite the message being short and simple I read it several times. As I tried to fall asleep, aware of the sun coming up just outside my window, my mind raced with graphic fantasies of Mr. Man. My body could not help but stir restlessly amid fantasies of the unique shape of his body fitting right into mine like a hand entering a perfect fitting warm glove. My vivid imagination played like a movie picturing his absent leg and how the sensations of his odd and unique body shape, might feel. Despite a long life of a wide variety of unusual experiences, the feeling of a deformed body would be a first for me.

As the sun graced Valentine’s Day morning, I finally fell asleep as my fantasies created a spiral effect in my brain and spread throughout my entire body. I woke up around 1pm and checked in with Finesse allowing me to temporality escape my drama as I listened to her. She was at Tin-Man’s house with her dog and they had spent an innocent, above the waist night, together. By this time she was claiming to hope for things to work out with her co-habitant who had brutally dumped her. My frustration over her ability to forgive him, for all of his cumulative misdeeds, in magical Hi-Desert, sunsets in the California Hi-Desert, attraction, dating, friends, music, dancingaddition to this cruel abandonment proved to be a distraction. By this time, I was also embarrassed at what had happened only hours prior, events that were fully transparent in the honest light of the midday sun. At the same time her sleepover with Tin-Man was also experiencing full sun. During our phone call Finesse was walking her dog, while looking for a place to eat outside Tin-Man’s apartment. As we spoke, literally, Tin-Man was with an impromptu female visitor bearing a Valentine Card.

On my side of town, the other half of Finesse’s drama had just darkened my front door, disrupting my thoughts of Mr. Man I was unable to escape in sleep. An unfamiliar car pulled in front of my house, while I was still in my nightshirt. I saw that it was Finesse’s boyfriend, who had dumped her, his face distorted by the sunlight making my face feel hot. When I realized who he was my face got hotter as I demanded, “What are you doing here?” I heard how angry I was in the tone of my voice and felt it on my tongue as I spoke. He wanted to know where Finesse was and reasoned that he was worried. To avoid more anger, I looked over at the car and saw Finesse’s mother in the driver’s seat, therefore I had no choice but to keep my cool. The awkward situation forced me to make up a scenario that everyone would believe, without lying, withholding the details since Finesse had every right to be anywhere she wished. I told them not to worry about her that I had just communicated with her. No one was satisfied and insisted on knowing where she was. I mentioned that we were together until 4:30 am and that she went to a friend’s house with her dog and would be back later. My words did little to diffuse the imposed drama. It was like they blamed me for her not being at my house.

I mentioned this to Finesse who had communicated with everyone via text messages earlier. Mr. Man and Tin-Man would be taking her back to J&Ps place. She notified me later that Mr. Man had seemed really sad. I had not amputee sex, aging woman, 21, affair, lust, sex, fantasy, infatuation, obsession, dreams, Valentine's Dayrejected him yet, though I had intended to send him a “Dear John” text at some point that day. I feared that if I waited too long I might change my mind. I knew I couldn’t trust my mind that was proving unreliable under the intoxicating influence of my reckless body.

Cougar in the Hunt Part 5: Cruel Light of Day

As a woman over 40, pushing 50, I have created this blog for the purposed of using my writing skills to create something especially meaningful to women. The best show of appreciation, since this blog is brand new, is feedback, sharing my site with others, and a donation of any amount in that order. Even a small donation, will go a long way to support my gourmet coffee habit
Introduce yourself!

2% Cashback with Salcura

Magazineline.com

Read more "Cougar Part 4: Here’s to You Mrs. Robinson"

Cougar in the Hunt 3: Here’s to You Mrs. Robinson

animal medicine, animal spirit, the universe, companion animals, astronomy, stars, desert sky

Continuing story of Cougar in the Hunt 2: Did You Really Say 21?

Having a companion rabbit is a magic that creates an incredible life balance. My Galaxy leaves me wanting for very little. Galaxy’s unique wisdom of the universe and many ages past, provides remarkable insights that would otherwise be hard to realize.

Is the power of intense attraction a force of nature or a force to be reckoned with? As empowered, free, a liberated women, how do we balance personal discretion and our myriad of choices?

Appreciation from a suitor, especially with a broken heart, is intoxicating and for me this reach was far beyond addiction. It was a rip-current literally pulling my body further out to sea. Swimming against the power of this current, for the rest of the evening to follow, was exhausting.

As the experienced adult in the situation, I kept the door to physical and personal intimacy locked with a dead bolt. Throughout the night, Mr. Man tried any number of keys in the hopes that one would fit and he could finally unlock the barrier keeping him from having me. Unrealistic promises were spread out like a royal rug at my feet with him on his knees eager to kiss and caress them.

Had I been in my early 20s the night I met Mr. Man I would have been fully taken in by these overtures. Mr. Man was not taking me anywhere, since I knew better, at least not by these means.

signature Mrs. Robinson leg, cougar, 21, lust, attraction, affair, 40, sexuality after 50
….. the skin of the palm of his hand and his fingers wrapped around the skin of my knee……

He continued to verbally corner me with his desire to be physically closer to me by inquiry. The Tin-Man and Finesse were displaying their affections out in the open. Their public physical displays were not vulgar or offensive, just not within my personal comfort zone. The intensity of his eye contact was impossible to miss or escape, as it followed me with skill and precision.
The only time he took his penetrating green eyes off of me, was the moments when he was observing Tin-Man and Finesse across the coffee table. Clearly, Mr. Man looked to the Tin-Man actions for guidance.

“Why can’t we be like they are?” His voice reverberated eagerness, longing, hope, and least of all, a question  I didn’t know if he wanted to be in bed with me or wanted to put his hands on me to navigate a future encounter. The alcohol and the hour of the night continued to wear me down, not to his explicit desires, but to my ability to discourage him or divert the conversation. All I could say was a few broken words that I know I could have articulated better.
“They have known each other for years. You and I just met” There was no way he could dispute my logic, though he would negotiate with a solid strong will.
Determined to negotiate my terms he began, “We are-” Sharply cutting him off I said, “…talking, just as we ought to be. There is nothing wrong with that.” He had already characterized himself and me as “we.” 

For all his bold and explicit verbal expressions, he did not make a single physical advance, covertly or otherwise. He didn’t manipulate me or anyone else in an effort to trap me into being alone with him. All advances were verbal and while he was manipulative with words, the only physical overture was sitting shoulder to shoulder with me.  

affair, cougar, 21, transition, reflection, regret, denial, infatuation, conquest, lust
Somehow, if he could captivate me in the dark of the predawn maybe the sun wouldn’t take me away from him.

Earlier that evening, I made it clear to him that I did not like cigarette smoke. He had said he would throw his entire pack out for me, though I did not believe him. He got up from the couch, where we were sitting together and excused himself to go outside and smoke. Of course I let my disdain show, so he repeated his willingness to throw out the pack, but this time with a condition, “What am going to get?” as if my body was the bargaining chip for his ability to save his own life. I couldn’t dignify this with an answer not just because it was absurd, but also because I wasn’t prepared to even consider all that he wanted. His direct communication was beginning to get obtrusive and I was feeling the pressure.

When he returned, the smell made it hard for me to breathe given that he reclaimed his position, right next to me our shoulder touching. I got up to plug-in my phone that was running low on battery and showed him more photos. The air coming in from the wide open door of the J&P’s studio distilled the nicotine smell that was making it difficult to breathe so my affair, cougar, confusion, temptation, lust, attractioninhibitions were relaxed and relatively balanced. For some reason I was opening my personal life to him by showing him family photos including baby pictures. I opened Facebook infant photos most of which included my eldest sister, at six, followed by a current photo of her. I took the built-in opportunity to point out the contrast between my nearly identical mother and sister due to my mother’s chain-smoking. He was touched by the photos of me as an infant and the sight of my artwork photos raised the level of his infatuation.

At some point we went outside for fresh air where we continued to talked as I coughed.

“You don’t have to cough. You don’t like it, I get it.”

“It isn’t that. I grew up with a chain smoker who never opened windows, so I have chronic health issue and sensitivity. Even the resin on walls or clothes makes it hard to breath.” I went on to intimate to him that I watched my mother cough up chunks of green mucus at least once a day. His face was pensive and tried to express as much empathy as his lack of experience could accommodate. He also looked suspicious that I was trying to manipulate him, weakening his resolve to claim my body in exchange for nicotine abstinence. When I told him I was getting chilly he followed me back inside and we took our place on the couch.

With the prospect of morning drawing near he widened his tired eyes and adjusted his position to deepen his contact with my eyes, as if he could magically be permitted to touch me by hypnosis. His green eyes scanned my face as if they could capture me and carry me away. Somehow, if he could captivate me in the dark of the predawn maybe the sun wouldn’t take me away from him.
Eyes penetrating me he persisted, “So? What are we doing?”

“We are talking,” I replied with an authority that sounded weaker in my fatigue.

“You know what I mean?” He said with a frustrated tone that he tried to soften with a growling whisper. My only ally was the strength of my adrenalin.

“At this stage in my life,” I said, trying to remind him of my advanced age, “I can’t afford to be impetuous,” He asked me to define impetuous, as if this was the golden key that would let him enter. I explained the word impetuous and he needed more so I said “Being impetuous is my nature, but I have learned to control it and use discretion.” He repeated my words back to himself as if he needed greater clarity. I knew I needed to tell him there was no way anything would happen, but my impetuous-attention-craving early 20s were creeping back in such a subtle manner, that I didn’t notice. Part of me enjoyed the attention that was constant when I was in my early 20s and the other part of me was exhausted. The other part of me might have felt it was far too obtrusive, but there was no question I had the upper hand and he was enslaved to his desires for me. He wasn’t satisfied, so he pretended to need more explanation and I knew he was young, yes, stupid no. I tried a subtle diversion tactic. Again calling attention to the severe gap in our stages of life. “When I was 19, 20, and 21 I was wild…” I was cut off by his face lighting up, like a second wind, so I hastened my tone. “…I was reckless and very impetuous. I only got away with it because I was so young; I would never live through the things that I did then at this stage in my life.” He turned forward, reflectively, though not willing to concede. I continued “I believe, rather I know that there are special angels that work overtime for young people since they don’t know better.” He was impressed with my thoughtful expression and ability to articulate and while fully attentive to everything I was saying, he was not distracted from his acquisition.

As our gathering neared 4am, I asked him if he was tired, suggesting it was time to leave. I warned Mr. Man that Finesse would be slow-moving getting to the car. While we got ready to leave J&P’s after party, something happened, shattering the only resolve I had been clinging to the entire evening. Regardless of how flattering the overt attention felt, I had to be equally resigned to the reality that he was only 21.

affair, obsession, infatuation, regret, mistakes, infatuation

As Mr. Man rose from being sunk down into the couch with me all of my resolve was shattered in an instant.

Once he was sitting fully upright, the palm of  Mr. Man’s calloused hand landed on my knee. The skin of his palm touched my knee cap and each finger fell and wrapped around my knee. As his skin touch mine and a I felt the his grip an ignited desire traveled through my leg and to my pelvis. With his touch, I felt my stomach tighten reaching up to grip my chest as my entire leg trembled, though motionless, steadied under the weight of his grip. Clearly, it was unintentional, given that the entire evening he had not tried, even covertly, to force physical contact with me. While his forceful words were an overt expression of want of physical contact with me, this was the only time he actually put a hand on me. In this moment, the whole situation shifted from a clear logical decision to do what is right to complicated and compelling temptation. There was no denying that his hand on me caused me to feel strong sensations and the situation would no longer be a simple discretion. As of that moment, the struggle between the wisdom of my mind and the desires of my body would begin.

cougar, abstract photo collage, Mrs. Robinson leg, lust , infatuation, sex, affair, 21, older woman, menopause
As the desert sky turn the room dark, he stared down at me, silently…

Cougar in The Hunt Part 4: Here’s to You Mrs. Robinson 


As a woman over 40, pushing 50, I have created this blog for the purposed of using my writing skills to create something especially meaningful to women. The best show of appreciation, since this blog is brand new, is feedback, sharing my site with others, and a donation of any amount in that order. Even a small donation, will go a long way to support my gourmet coffee habit.

Proud to be using an ethical web hosting service!
Namecheap.com

Read more "Cougar in the Hunt 3: Here’s to You Mrs. Robinson"

Temperance and The Devil Part 3: Dancing in His Eyes

“She looked me right in the eye and matter of fact thick Guatemalan accent replied “Yes, of course he does, he likes you, he thinks you are gorgeous…..”

Below is the continuing story of Temperance and the Devil Part 2

Tricia swung the door open amid this cliffhanger and I begged for more information. As it happened, Tricia had moved our friends to the other side of the bar to leave the two of us alone, while still maintaining a clear view of the drama unfolding between myself and Mr. Wonderful. Love was in the air and it was hijacking my soul.

Joshua trees, desert sky, mojave desert, landers breweryMy heart had become its own planet spinning on its axis too fast for me to feel the floor beneath me. I still don’t know how I kept my balance, especially to the point of dancing the night away with the girls, as Mr. Wonderful watched. This was the first time, since moving back to Southern California that advances towards me made me feel good as opposed to nauseous. There was a strong sensation in my stomach under the weight of my heart, twirling on its axis and beating at the same time. I was overwhelmed and my head spun in the opposite direction of my heart, trying to process everything.

My heart, dormant for nearly twenty years, saw all the warning signs, every red flag was waving and expanding in the desert winds. I made futile attempts to protect myself and built a strong fortress around my heart, yet the power poised to carry my heart away was stronger force than even the hi-desert winds.

As I danced with my girls he leaned against a pillar, watching the band or so I thought. Patricia insisted that he did not take his eyes off me and that she had never seen him look at anyone the way he looked at me. As he looked into my eyes, his eyes danced bright and clear, just as my body had been dancing on the hardwood floor most of the night.

Knowing he saw this outing as a date, I attempted to get to know him while letting him pursue me. I told him I was under the influence of aliens, not just the drinks he bought for me. love, romance, attraction, encounter, date, music, dancing, brewery, night sky, stars, friendship

I notice a young woman with her jacket tied to her waist. There was a bright yellow design on the jacket appearing on her behind. I mentioned the apparition to Mr.Wonderful and insisted that he look at her back side. He refused, as he kept full eye contact with me. I persisted until he said, “I am here with you, I am not going to look at another woman.” His words seared into my heart like a flame igniting a rapid pace and blood flow that surged through my entire body. Despite this magical sensation in my heart, I was determined not to get swept away and over the cliff on which I was dancing .
I took “selfies” and sent them to Finesse, since she couldn’t be there with all of us. I took a photo of me and Mr. Wonderful. The expression on his face, the childlike hope on Christmas morning, spoke volumes. I kicked off one of my Birkenstocks to show him wrinkles of age on my feet. Without acknowledging my aging foot, he stroked the back of my calf while smiling at me. Galaxy wasn’t on my lap so there could be no wondering if Mr. Wonderful was touching me by accident and he had not consumed any alcohol. The veil was lifted and my heart was coming to life after years of dormancy. This was one of the moments when my heart and my mind were in unison.
The band continued to play, I continued to dance, and Mr. Wonderful continued to watch my every move. I sat with him while resting from my dance floor exploits. As I danced with the girls, knowing Mr. Wonderful was watching I overtly fought off drunken young men hitting on me, as a consideration to Mr. Wonderful courting me in this unanticipated date. This was not my usual carefree style..
My surrender to Mr. Wonderful was also clear when I was outside with Melanie, while he was still inside. We have a rock band in our circles all of whom love Galaxy.  The rock video for the memorial day concert included video footage of Galaxy. One of the guitar players from this rock band approached me. I have always had a weakness for rock guitar guys and I admired him for his energetic performances that defied his age of nearly 60. Not only do I enjoy watching him on him on stage, I also like talking with him. He is one of Galaxy’s many fans. He asked me where Galaxy was and I responded by saying he was at home because I was afraid the band might be too loud. I felt the force of Mr. Wonderful, as I talked to this Sexy-Galaxy-Loving-Guitar-Player, as if the desert wind was actually pulling me back to him. Indeed I was on a date, given my feelings of loyalty were already developing.
I actually was missing Galaxy, though the wisdom of my remarkable bunny was ever-present and real. Thoughts about the warm look in Mr. Wonderful’s eyes as I showed him all the photos of Galaxy; how he petted him just an hour later at the same event; how at Jason’s birthday party he stroked my arm while petting Galaxy, possibly not by accident; How Galaxy stretched his neck out to Mr. Wonderful’s lap and bonked him with his nose and made kind gestures towards him as only a bunny can. Mr. Wonderful met with Galaxy’s approval and here he was proclaiming to be there with me, making it clear that his eyes were looking at me and no one else.
During the evening Mr. Wonderful went outside only once. The bass player’s wife, as part of our female bonding girl fun, motioned to me that Mr. Wonderful was outside smoking. Without speaking a word we went into the doorway, arm and arm, to give Mr. Wonderful a look. He headed back inside, as if called to duty, and swiped my nose with the tip of his index finger. I was in trouble, in deed, and everyone knew it.
I was dancing not only in his eager blue eyes, but I was also dancing into love. Every pirouette, every gyrations of my hips, every movement of chest played like a movie in his eyes, blinded to anything or anyone else in view. As I moved to the sensual quality of the music, every one of my heart beats created a vibration in my breasts that radiated throughout my body. I could feel his heart beating from across the room, in sync with my every move with a force of every star in the Galaxy.
I had not felt so much love, in so long. His intoxicating stares trumped any alcohol left in my system. My heart and mind were in a battle confronting my fears. He had moved back to Joshua Tree so recently and had only left for Lake Elsewhere for a relationship that he was clearly still grieving. Where did I fit into this equation and would I be left in the cold?
After the band played their last song, last call drinks reaching the bottom of clinking glasses, and the salutations of bar guests of all kinds taking place throughout the room, Melanie sat down in “her chair” beside me, opposite Mr. Wonderful. Our landing party had come full circle, I felt pride and warm feelings having both of my dates, once again, on either side of me. The three of us collectively decided that we were ready go home and Melanie offered to drive. Knowing she wanted to contribute something, I handed her the keys that Mr. Wonderful had playfully grabbed from me the entire evening. Again, Mr. Wonderful took a backseat to our newfound sisterhood. Just as he had done on the way to the brewery, Mr. Wonderful stayed quiet while Melanie and I talked.

Joshua Tree, night sky, music friends, dance, romantic encounter, Landers, California Hi-Desert
Original photo by Candice Silsby

We pulled up to Melanie’s house and as the gentleman he was, Mr. Wonderful got out of the car to say goodbye and tell her he enjoyed meeting her, as he hugged her. I didn’t think my heart would melt anymore to his kindness and yet it was warm and soft as I watched his arms wrapped around her illuminated by the light of the moon on her bare alabaster arm. When Mr. Wonderful returned to the car, he sat in the passenger’s seat. At the moment, I had no idea just what that action meant. I was clueless to the potential disaster that might have occurred as a result of my handing him my keys, while insisting that he had promised to drive us home. Clearly taking my keys and putting himself in the driver’s seat meant that he was more swept away by what I wanted, then my welfare or his. At the time I had no clue, all I knew was that I was scared of what was happening and no lack of alcohol could have made it safe for me to drive.
Even though I did not bring my beloved Galaxy to the brewery in Landers, the universe and the night sky were a strong force, setting the stage for the unmistakable connection Mr. Wonderful and I were feeling and silently expressing. Our actions were subtle, but the emotions were intense as the universe itself. Had I not been aware of the laws of physics, I may have thought that the blue-black of the sky, illuminating by the stars, a sacred atmosphere created just for us.
As he drove us off of the dirt road where Melanie lived I did not speak that much and decided to reveal that I was capable of silence. More than anything I was in deep thought about what had happened, while anticipating what I knew was happening and above all what would happen upon our arrival to my house. I thought about the good night kiss that was inevitable as I struggle to steady my trembling body.

Temperance and the Devil Part 4

As a woman over 40, pushing 50, have created this blog for the purposed of using my writing skills to create something especially meaningful to women. The best show of appreciation, since this blog is brand new, is feedback, sharing my site with others, and a donation of any amount in that order. Even a small donation, will go a long way to support my gourmet coffee habit.

ShawAcademy

 

 

 

 

 

Read more "Temperance and The Devil Part 3: Dancing in His Eyes"

Cougar in the Hunt Part 2: Did You Really Say 21?

The following is Part 2 of Cougar In the Hunt
cougar, 21-year-old-male, lust, dating, infatuation, romantic encounter, middle aged female sexuality, romantic encounter
“At least a corner of one of his eyes would be fixed on every portion of my body as the minutes after midnight became hours”

By way of some mystery guy code, a fresh drink was placed on the table in front of me. Tin-Man and Mr. Man collectively offered to finance another margarita and simultaneously jumped up once they convinced me to accept. When confronted with the initial offer, my response was that I was driving, therefore I could not drink anymore. Mr. Man’s quick response offered a multitude of answers to my dilemma. He would drive me home; he would take me wherever I wanted to go; he would ensure that I made it home safe, and above all I was in his sober and capable hands. Finesse interjected a response to Mr. Man’s heroism by mentioning that we were invited to go to J&P’s for our usual after party. Mr. Man turned her way for the information and then turned his head back in an instant to fixate once again on my face. With soft questioning eyes, he said “If that is where you are going, then that is where I am going. I will go anywhere you are going. No matter where it is, if you will be there, I will be there.”

As Mr. Man made his declarations, including the promise to be my designated driver, Finesse giggled with hysterics at his direct, poignant, and bold pursuit of me. In this moment, she dubbed me a cougar and made wild cat noises while flapping her hand, like a paw, at me. As the tequila portion of my margarita singed my tongue in passing, I felt the soils of the cliff’s edge crumble beneath me, gravity pulling my body further down towards an unknown abyss. Even souzed, one of my closest friends noticed how enamored Mr. Man was, in my presence, clear as day, in the dark desert night. How could I deny this infatuation knocking my equilibrium off its axis?

To regain my balance, I responded by suggesting the four of us head over to J&P’s place in one car. Within the corners of my mind, I reasoned that Finesse and Tin-Man were at least one safety net in addition to all of our other friends. I felt the pulling motion of my entire person swept up into something that I was not given the time or opportunity to fully assess before being carried away by the whirlwind.

10881626_1381096982192956_237500888385919287_nFor the rest of the show, at least one of Mr. Man’s eyes would be fixed on every portion of my body, as the minutes after midnight became hours. The table the four of us shared was far from the dance floor, yet as Finesse and I were dancing, my body felt the undertow of Mr. Man’s eyes hinged on my every move. Not even the crowd, all around me, distilled his penetrating gaze. This could have caused an unsettling discomfort, in my chest, had it not been so honest and for all intent and purpose harmless. The band played their last songs, as Tin-Man and I finished our drinks clinking our glasses together between swigs.

female sexuality mid-life, lust, sex, attraction, cougar, 21-year-old, sexual choice, single,
“His eyes remained wide, like he was afraid I would disappear or get away if he blinked”

As Mr. Man and I continued to talk, while I drank, he kept a firm grasp on my every word as if every phrase was a life-preserver. His eyes remained wide, like he was afraid I would disappear or escape if he blinked.

As our conversation continued and his fascination grew, I noticed a deformity in his right hand. Instead of asking if he injured his hand or if the malady is birth defect, I found myself telling him every detail of my hand injury, as if I knew I would be fully understood. Despite how young he was, there was no doubt he related to my limitations and even proved himself an authority.

Camouflaged in his blanket jacket, he had half an arm with half a hand. The temptation to touch it overwhelmed my still hands, though I didn’t, since I did not care to patronize him or make any physical overtures he could interpret as sexual. The truth is, I find deformities fascinating. Anatomical differences, such as his, are like rare art, beautiful and intriguing, something unique, and sacred to behold. I am certain this is why I found him compelling despite his age.
affair, cougar, confusion, temptation, lust, attractionMy heart warmed from typical winter frigid to tepid, as I looked into his wide eyes and examined his disfigured body, while trying to be subtle and not seductive. In an effort to cool my warming heart, I continued to force logic and reality, into my mind, regarding his age.

I could feel so many of my firm beliefs erode, like the crumbling cliff below my unsteady and trembling feet. My enjoyment of Mr. Man, his countenance, and our conversation did not irritate me as it should have given that he was only 21. At this stage of my life, I find people in their early 20s, especially male, irritating. He neither annoyed or caused irritation.
As the alcohol seared my already spinning cerebellum, I tried to focus on the fact that he had only recently reached adulthood. In juxtaposition, with this brand new adult, was my adulthood spanning longer than his entire life. If this night had happened only four years earlier, he would not even be able to consent to the desires he was expressing with blunt and candid conviction. Looking at his driver’s license and learning that underage IDs are now vertical instead of horizontal, should have been a jolt more powerful than anything, but he did not take his eyes off me long enough for me to notice.
photo collage, cougar, lust, sex, affair, attraction, infatuation, fantasy

Blinding myself to the obvious fact that he appeared, dressed, and acted 21 was impossible. At the same time I never tried to justify my attraction to him with any absurd cliques like ‘mature for his age,’ or ‘he and I spiritually the same age.’ I could never live in the sort of denial that would enable me to lie to myself in this manner.

Nonetheless, I was caught off guard; In my world, I don’t enjoy keeping company with anyone younger than 40 other than family. Anyone in my life under 40 is either family, or the offspring of my peers. I could not  escape reality; this young man was young enough to be my son. My nephew, the closest person to a son of mine, was only two years younger. I could not imagine bringing any relationship with a 21-year-old to my family.

Even in an inebriated state, there was no denying these facts in my mind. My body, at this point, had no idea what would happen and the eruptive sensations yet to come.
mrsrobinson (1)

 

 

 

 

 

 

As a woman over 40, pushing 50, have created this blog for the purpose of using my writing skills to create something especially meaningful to women. The best show of appreciation, since this blog is brand new, is feedback, sharing my site with others, and a donation of any amount in that order. Even a small donation, will go a long way to support my gourmet coffee habit.

Share your thoughts:

[contact-
field label=’Email’ type=’email’/]

Read more "Cougar in the Hunt Part 2: Did You Really Say 21?"

Cougar In The Hunt: Moments

He said to me “…Immaturity is a burden,” and that he was….

In just a MOMENT

cougar, sex, dating, romantic encounter, attraction, lust, infatuation, leg, Mrs. Robinson, photo collage
Not even the crowd, all around me, distilled his penetrating gaze. “
a young person, unexpectedly crashed into my world,
for a moment
In  just a moment, a young person was under a spell I never cast
In just a moment a young person was hypnotized lost in the moment, with me
In a moment he fell down to my feet,
For a Moment, a young person ignited an impulsive fire and impetuous spirit in me….
For a moment, a young person promised me
the moon and the stars,
his everlasting devotion,
to serenade me in the dark of night,
I did not believe it for a moment,..but for a moment I believed that he believed…..
For a moment, I believed in this young person
For a moment, I believed that for at least a moment, I could
Believe
For a moment a young person helped me to live in the moment,
sharing fleeting moments with me.
For a moment, this young person showed me a kind of courage rarely seen in young people.
For a moment, I forgot what is wrong and remembered everything that is right
for a moment
For a moment I let a young person near
and in a single moment I wished I hadn’t
In a moment he said that ‘immaturity is a burden’
and in just a moment a burden he became
For a moment, this young person forced a painful reminder of how confusing, turbulent, unstable, and traumatic my 20s were
how betrayed I felt, so often, as a developing woman, so much of the time…
For a moment, my very life was suddenly forced into a time machine, that hijacked my soul back to that tough stage of compulsive drama and heartache,
revolving mistakes I could never comprehend,
mistakes repeating, repeating, repeating,
constantly spinning through my head and my heart,
through a vast time and space…never knowing my place.
cougar, lust, encounter, attraction, infatuation, admiration, menopause, aging women and sexuality
“…..he said immaturity is a burden, and a burden he was…”
For a moment I was lost to everything I have struggled to be and became everything I am and stand for.as a woman.
For a moment, I cried for the naive, unsure, and vulnerable young woman I once was,
the scarred girl wearing her trauma,

like a brooch piercing her heart.

a lifetime ago….
moments.
#Mrs.Robinson #cougar #cub #lust
Now
In THIS moment, here and now, I am more happy than I ever thought, to have left so many painful moments, my 20s, behind forever-ago.
In THIS moment, I am wise, enlightened, and fully aware that my 20s are not only past, but that I will never have to pass that way again.
In this moment, I will look to myself and how glad I am for me and will look to all future moments when I will grow older and better
till I meet my next life.
And….at this moment, I will be grateful for what this young person revealed to me,
in a just a moment,#cougar #Mrs.Robinson #lust #infatuation #21 #menopause #singlewomanover40

The Desert Diva

The “In Just a Moment” Story: Cougar In The Hunt 

As a woman over 40, pushing 50, have created this blog for the purposed of using my writing skills to create something Shop For Jewelry, Clothing And More To Help Rescue Animals!especially meaningful to women. The best show of appreciation, since this blog is brand new, is feedback, sharing my site with others, and a donation of any amount in that order. Even a small donation, will go a long way to support my gourmet coffee habit.

Read more "Cougar In The Hunt: Moments"

Cougar in The Hunt Part 1

Below is the story that inspired In Just A Moment:

In the blinding haze of the preceding story, I am less able to comprehend why so many mature women have taken part in the cougar mythology. After playing cougar, for five minutes, I can say I did not experience the wild adrenaline of a predator on the hunt or the euphoria of capturing prey. Instead, I felt like a wild cougar, preyed upon, in a canned hunt.
sepiaIt was after midnight and the band was midway through their final set. While celebrating love and life in all its purest forms, the night transformed into Valentine’s day. At this point I could not anticipate the drama was including me as a key player.

I am not sure when or how the saga began. What I can say, with factual conviction, is that I sat down on a bar bench next to a nondescript stranger, across from my friend Finesse, who was sitting next to her friend Tin-Man. Finesse’s friend, Tin-Man sat across from his friend who, at the hand of a bizarre fate, sat next to me. Finesse’s friend The Tin-Man said, “My buddy here needs a hug” With these words, I looked to the left at the figure seated beside me with scruffy golden brown hair and a blanket-like wool jacket. I wrapped an arm around it, to hug it, with little thought. When I let go, he turned toward me and in an instant a pair of green eyes, wide as canyons, were looking deep into mine. I could see a baby deer caught in headlights combined with the eye shift indicative of immediate attraction. That is how I met the young buck, Mr. Man and how I transformed into a veracious feline.

As I showed Mr. Man a video of my rabbit Galaxy, whatever had been wrong with him disappeared in the infinite desert night as he ventured into the land of me. Engaging him in conversation took little to no effort which was odd. His wide-eyed naiveté displayed great appreciation for my talents and accomplishments.

Throughout our initial encounter, Mr. Man was quick to fire blunt and uncensored expressions of attraction and desire for me that seared through my body too rapid for me to put up defences. The odd connection sparked something in me while at the same time my sense of better judgement kept me anchored though inside I was spinning. In the midst of this strange encounter, my hot flashes imploded. As the heat surged through my body and the sweet travel through my pores, I looked at his youthful face and I could not escape the our successive juxtaposed realities.

feature As I continue to grow older, the surrounding people seem to grow younger often limiting my compatible choices. Although cleaver in his own right, Mr. Man was way too inexperienced to set pretences. I had been his age, long ago, he had never been my age, not in this lifetime anyway. His courage and forthright manner prevented me from believing he was way to young. At the very least, these bold qualities left me open-minded to possibilities not yet explored

Mr. Man asked me to guess his age and without much thought, I looked into his face, trying not to lose myself in his eager green eyes, and replied, “32?” A baffled expression gave me a momentary warm sensation that I had guessed right as I had mentally adjusted my line of demarcation to accommodate this bizarre connection.
Mr. Man asked me to guess his age and without much thought, I looked into his face, trying not to lose myself in his eager green eyes, and replied, “32?” A baffled expression gave me a momentary warm sensation that I had guessed right as I had mentally adjusted my line of demarcation to accommodate this bizarre connection.
My instinct turned proved as he told me he is 21 which was less  than half my time on earth. This warm sensation turned to an ache in my head accentuating the lines in my face he was unable to see. My wrinkles creased tighter as it occurred to me that Mr. Man could be my son and his mother my same age or younger. A twisting sensation occurred in my stomach as I tried to tighten my grip on the ground beneath me. Clearly, I had reached the edge of the cliff with the earthen soil eroding under the weight of my stance. My only choices were to fight or give way to gravity, but someone would fall.
In the course of our conversations, I described to Mr. Man my quick insights into others, often within seconds of meeting them. In response, Mr. Man was quick to ask for specifics about him, his eyes widening in the hopes of capturing me. These same keen instincts told me he was eager to see inside me, far more than inviting me into his world. His navigation efforts played out through the night and into the following week

Cougar in the Hunt Part 2: Did You Really Say 21?

 

Read more "Cougar in The Hunt Part 1"